


Finding our Happy Ending

by Dreamergirl185



Category: Marvel, The Avengers
Genre: Anti-Sokovia Accords, Bottom!Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Civil War Team Captain America, Fix-It, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Mpreg, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers is pregnant, Stony - Freeform, Super Husbands, Superfamily, Tony Stark Has A Heart, top!tony stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 05:55:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20253238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamergirl185/pseuds/Dreamergirl185
Summary: After what is known as the Civil War, team Captain America have all gone into hiding. Steve Rogers to put it bluntly is not ok; after nearly killing his husband, Tony Stark, and messing up the lives of his friends he doesn’t think life could get any worse.Until he takes a pregnancy test and the words positive flash back at him.





	1. God's Punishing Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first ever story and I hope you enjoy it:)

The toilet seat was cold against his forehead, but Steve Rogers couldn’t find it in himself to move. He had been puking on and off again for the past two weeks, and it was the first time since the serum had been injected into him that it was happening. And even though he was bigger now it still took everything out of him. Literally. He remembered growing up, how he would puke every other week from whatever illness he had managed to pick up, and he had hoped he would never have to experience it again.

It didn’t make any sense; he couldn’t get sick, and he hadn’t been hit in the stomach during training so why was he puking?

Groaning Steve slowly straightened up and flushed the toilet, but still didn’t get off the floor. For once, Captain America didn’t have the strength to do so. Lately he didn't have the strength for much, preferring to spend his days locked in his room. Some days it was a fight with himself to eat, and sleeping wasn't a thing anymore.

Perhaps god was punishing him for what he did. Steve didn’t regret what side he took and if he knew the outcome before the ‘war’ he’d still stand on the side he did. But he did regret dragging his friends into his mess and ruining their lives. Clint and Scott were lucky to take a plea deal and be with their families, but Nat, Wanda, and Sam were wanted and had to hide with him. Deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault, they were adults and could make their own choices, but that’s who Steve was. He takes all the blame and guilt and puts it on his shoulders. He’s Captain America, that’s what he does.

But was he really in the wrong if he had the support he did? Bucky was automatically on his side, considering everything evolved around him. Wanda, Clint, Scott, and Sam had all taken his side in the beginning. And people who were initially on Tony’s side were now on his. King T’Challa was currently housing them, Vision had started to contact Wanda and would secretly meet with her and also stop by to say hi to everyone, and Nat had turned on Tony and helped them escape. And if Bruce and Thor had been with them he was sure they would side with him because Bruce would never sign with General Ross, and Thor did what he wanted. He was a prince after all. No, Steve didn’t think he was in the wrong.

But Tony. God did he regret what he did to his husband. He should have told him about his parents, but he was in such a good place and Steve didn’t want to set him back. He stopped drinking excessively and he slept for at least five hours a night and he ate at least two meals a day. Steve didn’t want to ruin what he had finally become. And it's not like he knew for sure that Bucky had killed his parents. Ninety nine percent of him was sure,but he had desperately held onto the one percent that said he hadn't.

_ ‘He’s my friend’ Steve panted as he looked at Tony, pleading with his eyes for Tony to stand down. He didn’t want to fight, but he would if he had to. No matter how painful it was. He had lost Bucky once; he couldn't go through it again. _

_ ‘And I’m your husband’ Tony had said back, but there was no emotion in his voice. It was like he had already given up on them._

Steve dug the bottom of his palms into his eyes to stop the tears that were slowly forming before they had the chance to fall. He could still hear the way his shield hit the reactor, over and over again it played in his head like an annoying jingle you can’t unhear. Sometimes he would see himself decapitate his husband. Sometimes he'd watch him bleed out. But the worst was when he would kill Tony and his dream self wouldn't react. He was an emotionless soldier. Those nights he would wake up with puke on his pillow. Part of the reason he stopped sleeping. The other being he couldn't sleep alone anymore. A quiet knock on the door stopped his inner pity party.

“Hey Steve, you alright?” Bucky called quietly from the hallway. Bucky still didn’t have all his memories and could still be triggered at times, but he knew Steve was important in his old life and this one. He'd considered going into a cyro chamber until he was healed, but decided against it in the end after Steve had begged him not to. He’d do anything for Steve with memories, or without. Steve offered back a pitiful moan, and Bucky took that as an invitation to come in.

“Oh Punk” Bucky sighed as he took in the sight of his best friend, crumpled to the floor on his knees a shaky and sweaty mess.

“I don’t feel so good” Steve told him before lurching forward to start dry heaving into the toilet, and Bucky couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped past his lips.

“I figured” Bucky crouched down behind Steve and rubbed his back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He was still getting used to comfort and how to express it.

“Steve, we all agree this isn’t normal for you. Maybe you should take up T’Challa’s advice and go see one of his doctors” Steve sighed a protest already forming on his lips, but he knew he should go. After the serum he thought he’d seen the last of doctors, and he was happy about that. Most of his childhood was spent with a doctor and he would be happy to never see one again. In one month alone he’d seen more doctors then most people would see in their entire lives.

“Help me up” he ignored the look Bucky gave him at his request, not being able to handle seeing the added concern that swept across his face because Steve never asked for help, and held out his hands. Bucky helped steady him when he started to wobble and Steve shot him an appreciative smile.

“Always taking care of me” he said as they slowly shuffled out the bathroom door and down to the medical suite.

“Someone’s got to” while that was said in a teasing tone, and it should have made Steve laugh it didn’t. Because Tony had taken care of him. When Steve over worked himself in the gym and left his knuckles bloody, when Steve couldn’t sleep because he was scared when he woke up he’d yet again be in a different time, when he didn’t understand something and felt like a moron, or when he panicked because he’d walk into a freezing cold room Tony was there. He’d always been there. And now he was gone.

“You in there punk?” Bucky snapped him out of his thoughts by gently knocking his knuckles on the side of his head, and Steve offered him back a forced smile. He was becoming a pro of the fake smile and laughs.

“Ya, I’m here” the Winter Soldier didn’t look convinced, and why would he? He was a trained assassin forced to suppress his emotions and be able to read everyone else’s. Of course he would never believe Steve. But Steve was saved from questioning as they approached the doors to the medical room. Without knocking they walked in, and Steve hoped that that wasn’t considered rude here. They’d only been here a month and he was still unsure of the customs.

“Mr. Rogers, Mr. Barnes” a pretty female doctor greeted them, her accent thick just like everyone else’s. “I assume you are here because of Mr. Rogers puking?” So T’Challa must have known that Steve would eventually cave and see a doctor. 

“Yes, I figured it was about time I got it checked out” he chuckled as he moved to sit down on the bed the doctor was patting.

“Alright, I will ask you a few questions, take some blood, maybe a urine sample, and then you’ll be good to go” Steve nodded. Despite the time change this was the same thing that happened before the serum.

“How long have you been puking?”

“Two weeks”

“What are you puking up? Bile, food, a mix of the two?”

“A bit of a mix, although if I eat something I usually puke it up. And certain smells can set it off” the doctor looked up at him for a second as if studying him, before she lowered her clipboard and looked at him with a new look.

“Mr. Rogers, I understand you were married to Mr. Stark” Steve couldn’t hold back his flinch at the ‘were’ “I have to ask. During intercourse were you the top or the bottom?” Steve felt his face flush, and he knew without looking into a mirror he probably resembled a tomato. Many assumed that Tony would be the bottom because of the size difference, but truth was he was not. Tony couldn't handle not being in control at all times after Afghanistan, and Steve needed to give up control. For them it just made sense for Tony to top and Steve to bottom.

“I don’t understand how that’s-” Steve cut himself off as he realized what she was hinting at. Oh shit. “Bottom” he whispered and the doctor nodded. Nobody knew when it happened. They didn't know if a chemical had been released in the air or water, or if it was hereditary but some men developed the ability to get pregnant. The first known case of male pregnancy was in 1912, just six years before he was born. Back then it was a rarity to see a pregnant male, but now a days no one even bat an eye. When Steve signed up for the military one of the things they needed to know was if he was able to get pregnant. After doing the test it was revealed he could.

“How long ago did you sleep with him?”

“About a week or two before we came here” He felt his heart start to speed up. Please don’t let it be true, please. I can’t handle it, not now. The doctor grabbed something from her desk and handed it to Steve. It was long and white and cool to touch. A pregnancy test.

“Bathroom is through that door. Pee on the stick and give it a few minutes. We’ll give you privacy” the doctor smiled, but it was almost pitying. Like she knew how Steve was feeling inside. Steve took the test without saying thank you, which must have really showed how he was feeling. Steve was always polite. He avoided looking at Bucky as he walked into the bathroom. 

Please, please don’t let it be positive. Steve peed on the stick and sunk to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees as he waited. His stubble that he hadn't shaved scratched his jeans as he rest his cheek on his knees.

Sure, Tony and him had talked about starting a family together, but that was before everything had gone to shit. If they had a girl Tony got to pick the name, and Steve was one hundred percent sure he would choose the name Maria after his mother. Steve was allowed to pick the name if they had a boy, but Steve wasn’t sure what he’d pick. When they had talked about this, late at night in bed it almost seemed like something that could never happen. But of course, now that they weren’t together it seemed that it could become a reality. If he’s pregnant then he’s certain god really is punishing him, because why else wouldn’t he get pregnant when they were actually trying but when he didn’t want to be he would be?

It had been a few minutes. Shakily he grabbed the stick from the counter and brought it down to his face. 

_Positive_


	2. Decisions, decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the wonderful reviews! It makes writing this story so much easier, knowing that I have people who like it.

"Steve you've got to eat" Natasha gently told him, pushing a bowl of pasta towards him. It had been three days since the confirmed pregnancy and Steve felt like a zombie. He didn't want to eat, his sleep was still non existent, and he stopped talking to everyone. It was exactly the same way he felt after he first woke up from the ice. The others had all tried to help him, but he didn't want it. He didn't need them to help with this parasite growing inside of him. It was just a reminder of what he couldn't have; a loving family with his husband. 

_Ex-husband_

It still hadn't set in yet that he had to refer to Tony as his ex. Also he probably couldn't call him Tony anymore, could he? That was a nickname and nicknames are reserved for friends. But the thought of calling Tony Stark or Anthony sent a bad feeling through him. Stark was the owner of a company, Anthony was a troubled teen with shit parents, but Tony, Tony was his. 

"I'm not hungry" he muttered, harshly shoving the bowl away from him. It rolled to its sides for a couple of seconds, dangerously close to spilling, but then settled. Natasha took a deep breath through her nose, in what he assumed was a way to calm down and not lash out. He had seen Bruce do it a few times when a situation might make him a little green.

Everyone had been fully supportive of him, all wanting to be there for him. Sam was thrilled to be an uncle, he wanted to also be god father but that was an argument for another time. Wanda was excited to have a baby around because that would be someone who would never have experienced what her powers were like before she got control of them so they wouldn't look at her with fear. Nat was a secret baby lover and she was already an aunt, so her family that she had found was continuing to grow. She'd never be alone again. And Bucky, while Bucky was nervous about having a rugrat around him while he was still mentally unstable he was so happy for the punk everyone had once said would never get laid. 

The only problem was Steve himself. None of them could get him to take care of himself, not even Bucky, and they were at the end of their lines. Hence why Nat had to forcibly drag him out of bed and into the kitchen. 

"Rogers, eat" Natasha demanded shoving the bowl back at him. 

"Romanov, no" he shoved it back. It was childish, but he didn't care. So what if he didn't eat? He's been through much worse. So what if he has the fastest metabolism and needs to eat at least six meals a day, and so what if it could hurt the <strike>baby</strike> parasite? He'd be fine in the end. He'd much rather be in his bed where he could hide under the covers and slowly drift away. He was still debating on whether or not he would abort it. It was still small enough that if he did it wouldn't feel any pain. If he chose abortion it could be easier; he's a war criminal, he doesn't have time to change diapers and play patty cake. When he thought about it like that, abortion seemed like the best choice. But, there was a part of him that screamed at him to let the baby live. If he killed this baby, he was killing off every connection to before the accords. He would be cutting the string that tied him to the past.

"That's it" Natasha slammed her palms on the table and Steve isn't ashamed to admit it terrified him seeing her like this. "I get it, this isn't the ideal situation for you, but enough is enough. Now sit there and eat your damn pasta or I will shove the whole bowl down your throat" Natasha's green eyes were narrowed and it reminded him of the hulk. Like she was about to release her own hulk on him. He didn't know which one would be scarier. He glared at her using his captain eyes, but she didn't back down. Slowly, Steve felt his glare breaking and his eyes started to mist. 

"Nat please. I can't" he whispered brokenly, feeling a new wave of tears take over, and Nat's gaze softened. 

"Steve, listen to me. I know this baby is like a slap in the face to you. You've lost your husband, your home, and your identity-"

"If this is your idea of a pep talk, it's shit" Steve interrupted and instead of glaring at him like she normally would have done she smiled, glad to see him attempting a joke.

"Language. Now I know this isn't the way you wanted to start a family, but this could be a chance for you to be happy. As much as we all agree with what side we took, no one is happy that we have to hide. But this, this could be something to make you smile every day of your life" Nat rubbed his shoulder gently as Steve let the tears fall. He knew he would love this baby. Steve Rogers loved almost everyone. But that was the problem. If he loved this baby he would never move on from Tony. Not that he probably ever could, but he needed to try because Tony no longer loved him.

"What if this baby looks like him? What if it's a genius and talks to me about things only their father would understand? Or worse, what if it's like me?" he whispered the last part, dropping his eyes from Nat's not wanting to see the pity he knew he would see. He didn't just mean what if the baby had gotten the serum, he meant what if it possessed traits like him? The baby was already doomed.

"Steve Rogers you listen to me; you are the best damn man I know. If this child is like you, then he or she is already perfect. Don't punish the baby for the parents it will have" it hit him all of sudden as to why Nat cared about this so much. Here he was crying about getting pregnant, to a girl who had the chance of ever getting pregnant taken from her, when she was sterilized in the red room. And also he was crying about losing the love of his life to a girl who had literally lost hers. No one knew where Bruce was, or if he was even alive. God, he was a fucking idiot. But before he could apologize she opened her mouth again and kept talking almost like she knew what he was going to say, and didn't want to hear it.

"Don't view this as a punishment from god because of what you did. View it as a gift" she stood from the table and squeezed his shoulder before she left, leaving the bowl of pasta in front of him. This was her way of making him choose. She wouldn't force him to eat if he didn't want to, but if he didn't then that would be his answer on if he would abort the baby. 

He leaned his head back in his chair at an uncomfortable angle and let the memories over take him. 

_"Can you picture it?" Tony said one night after they had finished having sex, as they laid together in bed. Tony laid on his back, face to the ceiling and Steve laid with his head in Tony's neck, curled into his side. It was kind of funny to picture, the big Steve Rogers as the little spoon in the relationship, but for them it just worked. _

_"Can I picture what?" his voice was muffled in Tony's neck, but the genius understood. It was one of his many talents; being able to understand a barely conscious Steve Rogers. _

_"Starting a family together" Tony answered and that woke Steve up. Sure they had talked about it a few times, mainly in short conversations of 'ya we could have kids one day' but they had never actually talked about it for real. Steve thought about it. He could picture a kid, a mix of the two of them bouncing around the tower. Riding the elevator to each floor, just to say hi to the other avengers who they would obviously call their aunts and uncles. Talking to J.A.R.V.I.S as if they were a real person because to them he was just like an uncle. And god would that kid be spoiled; with love and toys. _

_Maybe the kid would be smart like Tony, but also artistic like Steve. Maybe they'd have two kids; one having the brains of Tony but having Steve's shy and polite personality, and the other having Steve's artistic side and not being as smart as their father (which would obviously be more then ok) but they would have Tony's sarcastic and witty side. _

_They'd set up a room beside their bedroom that way if anything happened they were right there to be with them in a moment, and Steve would paint it himself while Tony built all the furniture that the room needed. Maybe this would be the push Tony needed to finally learn to cook that way he could actually flip a pancake to make the kid giggle with delight, not that Steve's cooking was any better. They would watch movies every night that they could as a family, and Steve wouldn't mind getting teased for his lack of knowledge on modern day things. Steve was even prepared to face the pain of stepping on a lego._

_Yes, He could picture it all; but the most important part was he could only picture it if Tony was the one he would be starting the family with. Because he couldn't do it without him._

_"I mean, I know I might not be the best dad because I didn't have a great father to look up to, but I swear Steve I would never be like Howard. I'd always make time for the kid, I'd show up to all their school activities, hell I'd even drive a soccer mom van if I had to, and that's saying a lot" so lost in thought he hadn't realized Tony had been talking the entire time. Raising his head from his neck he silenced his boyfriend with a quick peck on the lips. Tony blinked at him in a daze when he pulled away and Steve caressed his cheek, rubbing his thumb over his lips._

_"Ya Tony. I can picture it. And I want it someday" _

Well, apparently someday had arrived. And Tony wasn't with him. He supposes he should somehow tell Tony he's pregnant, but that thought quickly leaves his mind. He could not, under any circumstances, tell Tony about this baby. Tony could take it from him; he was a wanted criminal in the eyes of the law. Even though he was Captain America and had saved their asses numerous times, he had no rights and the baby would be taken from him. No, he couldn't risk losing the baby also. Then he would have nothing. It was almost selfish of him, but that was the thought that made up his mind. With this kid, he'd never be alone and he'd always have a part of Tony with him still. 

Leaning forward Steve grabbed his fork and took a bite of his pasta. 


	3. You are Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapter updates in one day?! Insane. I don't know when I'll be able to update again because this weekend is a little hectic for me, so I want to post while I can. Also it has been brought to my attention that this story sort of seems like an anti Tony story right now, and I would like to say I swear it's not. While this story is not accords friendly, this is not going to make Steve look like a saint and Tony the devil. But right now we're seeing everything through Steve's eyes, so it wouldn't make sense for there to be any pro Tony's side right now because Steve believes Tony is wrong. Steve is going to make mistakes, Tony is going to make mistakes. Not one of them will be better then the other in this story. Also just wanted to say I don't know if this story is going to follow Infinity War and Endgame, and if it does I'll be changing things

"How are you feeling this morning Steve?" the same doctor from before, Adia was her name, asked as she applied gel to Steve's growing stomach. He was five months pregnant now, and in complete awe of his stomach. Of course, sleeping was getting harder because there were only so many positions that were comfortable now, but every morning when he woke up and saw his stomach it made everything worth it. He couldn't remember how he once didn't want the baby, because now the baby wasn't even here yet and Steve was so in love. 

Steve had started to take better care of himself to, which everyone was grateful for. He tried to get at least six hours of sleep a night, ate four meals a day, and made sure to have a full conversation with someone everyday. Of course, he still had his bad days where he wanted nothing to do with the world, but seeing his stomach gave him the strength to keep going even if he didn't want to. Because Steve Rogers was one thing above all else; selfless, and in order for this baby to survive, Steve had to survive. 

"Feeling a bit tired today Miss. Adia" the doctor playfully rolled her eyes. No matter how many times you told Steve to drop the formalities he would never listen. He was the perfect gentlemen.

"Are you ready to find out the gender of the baby?" what a stupid question, Steve thought but would never voice. Of course he was thrilled to learn if there would be a baby girl or boy running around, how could he not be? He wasn't sure which one he would prefer; a boy or a girl although a boy might be easier. He hadn't grown up around girls, and the two girls he did know both had terrible childhoods so they probably wouldn't be of much help. 

"Of course" Steve jumped a little at how cold the gel was, eyes flashing for a split second to the ice, before composing himself and relaxing. He had really been trying to get better at how he reacted to the cold, but living in an African country there wasn't much to practice with. 

"Congratulations Steve; it's a boy!" Adia congratulated showing Steve the monitor which showed the baby and Steve never thought he could fall more in love with technology then he did right there. "So that's the head, two legs, two arms and-" Adia suddenly stopped speaking as she looked at the monitor eyes squinting as she looked, and Steve felt himself start to panic.

"What? What is it?" please don't let anything be wrong with the baby, please let him or her be ok. But then Adia broke out into an even bigger smile then before as she looked down at him.

"Congratulations Steve! There's a little girl hiding in there!" well that didn't make any sense. How could a baby have two genders, that wasn't- oh

"Twins?" Steve was breathless as he looked at the screen. He could faintly see another blob behind the main one that he never would have noticed before, and it really was like his baby girl was hiding. 

"Twins. You'll have to start eating even more, and make sure to stick to healthy foods, remember the list of no no foods I gave you, but don't forget to eat a snack every once in a while. Having chips or pizza will not hurt the baby, and it will help your mood. Nobody could eat only vegetables for a week and be happy. No pushing yourself in the gym, and in a few weeks no gym all together. It is unfortunate that vitamins will not work on you, so we have to do everything as natural as we possibly can" Adia wiped off his stomach and helped him stand up while giving him a picture of his peanut babies and he thanked her for her time before making his way out of the medical ward. They weren't the size of peanuts anymore, but that was the nickname around the palace when everyone found out, so that's what they would be called until they were born.

Twins. He couldn't believe it. Soon there would be a little Maria, and whatever he named the boy waking up the palace at odd hours of the night. Steve stopped walking as he thought about it. Would he keep the name Maria for the girl? That was the name Tony had picked out, and calling out her name would only remind him of his ex. But that was what Tony wanted, and even though they weren't together anymore he would honor that. It was the least he could do after not telling him about any of this.

Maybe one day Tony would meet her, and hear that Steve had named her Maria, and it would show Tony he truly did love him still and they could work towards a better future. 

Wishful thinking.

"How many times do I have to tell you Barnes that you are wrong before you get it through your thick skull?" he heard Sam snap from inside the kitchen and Steve fondly rolled his eyes. Despite the negative attitude the two portrayed towards each other he could see how much they cared about one another. If Bucky was up all night with nightmares, Sam would sit on the couch with him and watch tv. He claimed it was because his military hours had programmed him that way, but everyone knew the truth. And if Sam overworked himself in the gym trying to keep up with two super soldiers Bucky would help drag Sam out of the room and to the couch. He'd insult the man all the way there, but the playful look in his eyes told he wasn't serious. It was nice to see Bucky warming to someone who wasn't himself.

Every time they said 'I hate you" to one another, which was a lot, Steve knew they didn't mean it. There was a hidden message in those words.

Steve wondered if maybe their relationship was like his and Tony's. They didn't like each other when they first met, and they annoyed the hell out of one another but look at what happened. They ended up getting married. Steve laughed. The thought of Sam and Bucky getting married seemed impossible. 

"Shut up Wilson. You dip your french fry in the ketchup, you don't cover them" Bucky argued back and Steve smiled fondly at the scene in front of him as he looked at everyone. Sam and Bucky were sitting at the table arguing about french fries, Natasha was reading a book in the adjoining living room, and Wanda was watching tv. 

"How long has this argument been going on?" Steve announced his presence, although it was probably unnecessary. A super soldier with advanced hearing, a trained spy, a military air pilot, and a witch that could hear peoples thoughts were not people you could hide from. No one could ever sneak up on any of them, and the thought made Steve feel relived. If anyone ever tried to get near his babies, they wouldn't get very far.

"Four minutes and twenty three seconds" Natasha answered flipping to the next page of her book never lifting her eyes. 

"Steve tell the man he's delusional" Sam ordered shoving more fries in his mouth as he spoke. Bucky glared at him and went to say something probably not nice when he noticed the picture in Steve's hand.

"How'd it go? You figure out the gender?" that got everyone's attention, all eager to hear what the peanut would be.

"Ya. Ya I did" Steve smiled as he looked down at the picture still in awe over his babies. 

"So?" Wanda pressed leaning forward over the back of the couch, and Steve was worried she would fall. He had always felt a protective urge towards Wanda, and being pregnant only intensified that.

"It's a boy" cheers from Sam and Bucky and pouts from Wanda and Nat. "And a girl" they all stopped and starred at Steve processing what he said.

"You're having twins?" Nat asked smiling as she spoke. If you ever wanted to see the deadly Black Widow smile, just mention kids. Not the snot nosed brats who cried at everything, but the angelic ones who would worship the ground Nat walked on. Those were the kids she liked.

"Ya, I am" Wanda suddenly sprung up from the couch, and Steve worriedly looked at her, noticing the way her eyes were starting to well up with tears. 

"I-I'm sorry, I just need, I just need a minute" she stuttered before speeding out of the room. A few moments later they heard her bedroom door slam. She had never truly healed from the loss of her own twin Pietro, and this wasn't bringing up good feelings. Steve wanted to comfort her, his protective side of the girl coming out again but Nat stopped him with a look. 

"Give her a few minutes" he wanted to argue but he knew Nat was right. She usually was. 

"So twins" Sam broke the silence and Steve's mood lifted when he was brought back to thoughts of his babies.

"Twins. Apparently the girl was hiding, which is why it took so long to find her" he handed the photo over to Sam who smiled as he looked at it.

"I just want you to know, one of these is my god child" he told him and Steve chuckled. As much as Steve wanted to make Bucky the godfather he knew the safest option would be to make it Sam. Bucky would always have a target on his back. At least Sam was less known, he could disappear easier. He just wasn't sure how to bring that up without making Bucky believe it was because of his Winter Soldier side. He could always make Sam godfather of one, and Bucky of the other but he couldn't. Tony was supposed to name Rhodey godfather of the other. That's how it would have been. Steve picks two, and Tony would pick two. It was obvious who Tony would pick. The two people who were always by his side; Rhodey and Pepper. And in a perfect world Steve would name Bucky and Nat as his. But there he goes again with his wishful thinking. 

"The child is already doomed if that's the case" Bucky said and Sam kicked him under the table, which resulted in Bucky throwing a fry at his face. While they were having their mini fight and while Nat was looking over the picture, Steve snuck out. 

"Wanda?" he called gently from outside her door. "It's Steve" of course it was, who else would it be? He rolled his eyes at himself. The door opened a crack, and Steve took that as an invitation to talk in. Wanda was sitting on her bed looking out the window, and it was the pose you would see in movies after a girl or boy had their heartbroken. It was all fictional, it was never a look that was supposed to be on Wanda. The kid had suffered enough. 

Steve sat down beside her giving her space but still in a comforting zone. He didn't speak, waiting for Wanda to start. 

"I can still hear him sometimes" he voice was so broken, and Steve wanted nothing more then to wrap his arms around her and shield her from everything. "When he first died I was always scared that I would lose his voice. That one day I would try and remember him and it would all be blank. But with my telepathy I used to go into his heads sometimes to talk. When we would be in separate rooms. And because of that my mind will never forget what he sounded like. And I don't know if it would have been better to have forgotten what his voice was like" she looked at Steve with a look that pleaded with him to help her.

"Wanda" he started but she kept talking.

"Your kids will be lucky Steve. A twin bond is a special bond" Steve took a chance and rested a hand on her shoulder and that's all it took for her to slump into his side and sob. He stroked her hair hoping he was being comforting. Tony liked to be held after he woke from a nightmare and had calmed down a bit. He didn't like to be touched right away, needing the space to work out his thoughts, but when he was ready he was a teddy bear. 

"These kids will be the luckiest kids to ever be born. They are surrounded by so many people who already love them, and that love is only going to grow after they are here" she seemed to like having her hair stroked so he continued to do it until she had calmed down a bit. 

"Bucky and I were talking" Wanda wiped her eyes as she sat up to face him. "We were thinking that after the babies are born, we would keep our distance" Steve furrowed his eyebrows at her. Keep their distance? Why would they do that? His confusion must have shown on his face, because Wanda answered his unasked question. "Steve, Bucky and I have done a lot of bad things. We've killed people. We shouldn't risk the babies well being with us here" 

"Wanda you listen to me" he was using his Captain voice that demanded the person listen. "You and Bucky are two of the greatest people I know. These kids will be lucky to have you guys in their lives. Never, ever doubt yourself again" Wanda looked at him in disbelief, eyes still watery but no longer crying. 

"I don't want to hurt them" 

"Wanda Maximoff when I look at you I do not see a threat. I see a young girl who had her whole life turned around. Manipulated into siding with the bad guys because you thought they were good and having tests done on you which couldn't have been painless. Ya, you got into our heads and messed with our minds. And were we mad about it? At first, yes. But you saw the man who you believed was responsible for your parents deaths, and you acted out of anger. You acted how most humans would have acted. But then, you joined the right side. You didn't know us, but you knew it was the right thing to do. To help those civilians. And the accords? Those were not your fault. Everyone will always look at the negative instead of the positive. And you just happened to be the one to get the blame" Wanda was back to crying, and Steve wasn't sure if that was good or not. But she wasn't yelling at him which was good. Steve would need to get better at comforting women if he wanted to be there for his daughter.

"If anyone of us actually viewed you as a threat do you think we would keep you around? Hell, Clint introduced you to his kids after a month of knowing you because he trusts you that much. We met his kids when we met you for the first time, aside from Nat. You're a good kid, and I hope that my daughter will grow up to be like you" Wanda let out a sob as he spoke, but he wasn't finished just yet. Looking Wanda in the eyes he delivered his final line.

"Wanda Maximoff you are good"


	4. It's Time

It was almost time, and Steve couldn't wait. Soon his babies would be here and despite knowing the pain he would most likely endure from having to push out two babies, he was ready. At thirty nine weeks, he knew it was only a matter of time. 

The others had been great throughout the entire thing. After getting it through everyone's heads that they were all good enough to be around his children they had all become more comfortable. Wanda took him to every doctors appointment he had and would follow him around everywhere in case he needed help, Nat watched birthing videos with him and taught him how to change a diaper having done it with Clint's kids, Sam took him for walks around the palace when he grew bored, and late at night Bucky would sit with him and offer comfort. Even T'Challa and Shuri had become involved. Shuri made things that Steve would need, and T'Challa had surprised him with a house he had built in the forest surrounding Wakanda. It would offer the family privacy to be by themselves when they wanted it but also keep them safe within the Wakandan borders. Until the babies were born and a little bit older they would stay in the palace though, close to doctors. Even Clint and Scott had sent him letters to congratulate (Steve didn't know how the letters got to Wakanda, but T'Challa assured him it was safe), and that the second they could they wanted to meet them. Clint was more because Steve was family and Scott was because he wanted to meet the Captain America's children. Fanboying like never before would take place. 

He couldn't have asked for a better support team. The only thing missing was Tony. Despite it being close to ten months since last seeing him, he could not get over Tony. He watched the news and Vision would provide updates, but it did nothing to ease his mind. Was it wrong of him to keep their children a secret? Probably. Tony had a right to know he helped create something that wasn't a machine, but Steve couldn't risk it. If he told Tony he wasn't sure what the man would do. And if he took the children from Steve, well Steve wasn't sure if he could survive first loosing his husband then his children. So no, Steve was going to be selfish for once in his life, and keep the children to himself. 

"How you feeling today punk?" Steve looked up from his sketch pad as Bucky entered the living room. Steve had stuck to drawing throughout his pregnancy and it helped keep him calm and happy when things got to be to much. He finished shading the flower petal he was working on before closing the book and facing Bucky.

"Ready to burst" Steve rubbed his stomach fondly as he spoke. Sometimes when he touched his stomach one of the babies would kick. Maria had come out of hiding and was just as active as her brother, who still didn't have a name. He had an idea as to what he wanted to name him, but he would wait until he was born to decide if the name would fit. 

"You sleeping any better?"

"Buck, I'm thirty nine weeks pregnant with twins. My stomach is the size of a beach ball. Sleep isn't possible" he gave Bucky a pointed look, who just gave him a look mixed with amusement but also sympathy. 

"Unfortunately I don't think you'll be getting much sleep for a while. Babies need a lot of attention" Bucky had read every book he possibly could on pregnancy and on infants. It was very sweet. Bucky had decided that he wanted to really step up for Steve and these kids. He felt responsible for the accords, and what happened with Tony so he felt that it was his job to really be there for Steve. He knew he would never be able to replace Tony, and he didn't want to, but he would make sure that he wouldn't let his best friend go through this alone.

"Ya, good thing I got plenty of sleep in the ice" Steve winced as a sharp pain took place in his lower stomach. He rubbed the spot and after a few seconds the pain went away. He had had pains all night, but they weren't strong so he ignored it. But now it seemed to be getting more intense. Was this a sign of labour? He knew it could happen at any time, but the thought that it would actually happen was surreal. He kept quiet though, not wanting to over react in case it was nothing. That didn't last long though, as the time went on and the pains became even worse.

"You ok?" Bucky asked noticing his discomfort. Steve started to nod but stopped when he felt another sharp cramp like pain take over. It was the worst one yet. Groaning in pain he looked at Buck in panic.

"I think they're on their way" it took only a second before Bucky sprung into action. Helping Steve stand up he practically dragged him to see Doctor Adia and if Steve wasn't in pain he'd laugh at the fact that he looked like a rag doll. She looked up surprised as Bucky practically threw the door open, and if it was a normal door Steve was sure it would come off the hinges.

"Babies are coming" Steve panted as another pain went through him and Adia joined him on his other side. 

"Alright Steve, just breath. Did the pains just start?"

"Throughout the night I woke up from some pain, but I thought it was the babies kicking and moving around. And this morning it's been happening" Steve winced as he was laid down on a bed. Adia put on some gloves and checked to see how dilated he was, Bucky looking away as she did a faint blush on his cheek.

"You're only dilated five centimeters. I'm surprised you didn't come in sooner" Bucky muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'stubborn bastard' "You have five more centimeters to go. You can walk around this room, or lay down but I suggest not going far. Would you like me to send for your friends?" Steve nodded and Adia excused herself to go and get them. 

"This is it Buck" 

At 4:57 pm February 2nd Steve Rogers gave birth to two healthy babies. 

"They're so small" Sam whispered as he held Maria. Nat was holding the boy, while Wanda and Bucky were by Steve's side both refusing to leave. He had been in wars and fought numerous battles, but nothing had drained him like this. He had screamed, almost broke Sam's hand when he tried to comfort him, and cried until he couldn't anymore, but it was all over now.

"Ten toes, ten fingers, two eyes, one nose. They're perfect" Adia said as she put a blanket over Steve. 

"Ya they are" Steve couldn't believe it. They were originally in his stomach and now here they were. He had done it. 

"So, what is the little boys name?" Nat asked. "I can't keep calling him bud" Steve took one look at his son, and knew the name he chose was perfect. 

"James. His name is James" at Bucky's look of shock Steve kept talking. "Both Tony and I had a James always by our side. As a best friend, a ride or die, someone who always had our backs no matter how stupid we were being. Maria will have that to" as Steve spoke he let his mind wander to Tony, wondering what he was doing.

**New York**

Tony sat in the common room a glass of something strong in hand. Pathetic right? Almost a year since everything took place and he was still drinking, because that was the only way to make the pain stop for a little bit. He couldn't sleep in the bedroom anymore. To many memories. To be honest there wasn't many places he could go without thinking about everyone. Especially Steve. Tony wanted to move, and sell the tower but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then he would have nothing of Steve's. 

Those stupid accords had ruined everything. While Tony didn't agree with everything on the accords he did agree they were necessary. And even if he didn't agree what could he do? He couldn't run away or go against them like the others. Unlike the others he had responsibilities outside of being a hero. He had an industry to run, if he left who knew what would happen. Another Stane incident probably. 

He just wished that others had taken his side. That they would have listened to him. That his husband hadn't run away with the man who killed his parents. All he had left on his team was a kid, and someone who was forced to stay by his side because that was one of the rules of being best friends. And of course, he had his many bottles of alcohol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the babies are here! I know nothing about labour and pregnancy so if any of that seemed unrealistic, apologizes. I know it seems kind of quick, fourth chapter and the babies are already here but this story was never supposed to be focused so much on Steve's pregnancy, it's meant to be focused on life after and how Tony and Steve find each other again. And we see that Tony isn't doing so great. They will reunite soon, but they've still got a long ways to go before they find their happy ending


	5. Two Years Later

Two years. It had been almost two years since the Civil War, and almost one year since the twins had been born. Everyday they did something new that made Steve's heart burst. They were starting to figure out how to walk. Both could stand up for a few seconds and sometimes they'd be able to take one step before falling down. James could say 'Dada' while Maria was still content to make gurgling sounds and clap her hands when she wanted Steve's attention. And they were the perfect blend between Tony and himself. Maria had blonde curls on top of her head and big brown eyes. She had also gotten Tony's mischievous smile, that even at almost a year old she had mastered perfectly. She would be a little terror when she got older Steve could already tell, not that she wasn't one already. James had brown hair that liked to stick up most of the time and clear blue eyes. He had Steve's look of innocence, and Steve knew Maria would drag him into trouble, and James would always follow. The curse of being a James. Maria preferred to make messes with some home made baby paint, and James preferred to make things with his building blocks. The two of them were the perfect mix of Tony and Steve. They were simply perfect.

"Did you make dada another pretty picture?" Steve cooed at Maria who proudly sat in a mess of yellow paint. There was more paint on her then on the paper, but still Steve would keep it on the fridge like he did with all her others. Thankfully the paint was easy to clean off the wooden floors. Even if it wasn't Steve would still let her paint on the floors. Both kids have Steve wrapped around their little fingers.

They had moved into the cabin T'Challa had built for them and Steve loved it. It was secluded from the rest of the kingdom, but not hard to get to if people wanted to visit. Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Wanda all had rooms in the house but they weren't always there. Steve had taken a break from missions, but the others hadn't. They were still hunting down Hydra bases all over the world and reporting in to Steve. That's currently where they all were. Steve still went out sometimes if they were desperate or had a huge lead. Shuri or Adia were always up for babysitting which helped out a lot.

The thing that sucked about missions now was that he wasn't Captain America. He didn't have his blonde hair, clean face, and blue, red, and white costume. He wasn't the perfect American apple pie dream anymore. No, now he was Nomad and Nomad had dirty blonde almost brown hair, and a beard like Thor's. He wore dark grey's and had no shield. That's who he was now. When he wasn't with his kids. With them he was still Steve Rogers, and that's who he would always be. 

Maria clapped her hands as Steve took the picture, before crawling away to bother James who was very concentrated on his castle. Sensing what was about to happen Steve instantly scooped up Maria knowing that the little devil would find it more fun to knock the blocks over. 

"You are a little monster" Steve told her bopping her nose as she pout at him for ruining her fun. The look reminded him of one that Tony would give when he would drag him out of the lab and force him to sleep. Two years had gone by and still he missed his ex husband. Not a day passed where he didn't think about the man. To many nights did he lay in bed with their kids, cell phone in hand ready to dial his number. But he never did. 

Putting Maria down Steve decided to make some lunch. He turned on the tv, and Dora came on the screen. It was an older show but both kids were fascinated with it. Steve hated it. Seeing both kids content he went into the kitchen. When T'Challa designed the house he made it so that there was a window between the kitchen and living room so while Steve was at the stove he could still keep an eye on them. Deciding to just cut up some fruits and veggies for the kids he went about the kitchen getting plenty for them to eat. Steve hadn't noticed if they had inherited anything from the serum, like fast metabolism but they did eat a lot. When they were older maybe he would have some tests run to see if they had anything else.

It was a scary thought, thinking about if his babies could have gotten some parts of the serum. Before Steve was in Wakanda he was constantly being tracked down by people who all wanted the serum for themselves. The thought of anyone trying to hurt his babies because of the serum sent a thing of rage through him. Over his dead body would anything ever happen to Maria or James. 

_"Tony Stark, aka Iron Man seems to be up to his old ways. The billionaire, playboy, genius, philanthropist hasn't been the same since his husband, Steve Rogers aka Captain America, became a wanted criminal. It is said from an inside source, that Tony Stark spends his days in the lab, and only sleeping when he's drunk himself into it" _Steve looked up from where he was cutting up a banana. James was holding the remote in hand, pushing buttons and the channel had changed to the news. Putting down the knife Steve went into the living room and grabbed the remote from his son, who seemed to now be trying to take it apart. Maria started to cry over the loss of her precious Dora.

"I know baby girl, Daddy's changing the channel back" Steve assured her, but couldn't find himself to do it. He needed to hear what else the lady had to say. 

_"Tony Stark hasn't been seen leaving his tower in months. Iron Man hasn't made an appearance since the incident in Queens, but New York has been on it's own since that day. Will Tony Stark find it in him to move on? Or has the world lost another precious superhero?" _Maria's crying got louder and it brought Steve out of his daze.

"Sorry baby girl, here you go" Steve hit a button and Dora was back on the screen singing with that stupid monkey. Putting the remote up high so James couldn't grab it Steve went back into the kitchen. Tony hadn't left the tower in months? He's drinking again? No Iron Man? 

"Oh god" Steve breathed tears welling in his eyes as he realized. He had caused this. He had broken Tony down, something he swore he would never do. That was literally something in his wedding vows, when they were starring at each other. They both wrote their own, and one of Steve's lines were _'I know you've been hurt by so many people, and it's hard for you to let others in. But I swear, I will never be one of those people. I won't ever hurt you like they did. I can't promise we won't fight, but I can promise you've got me for forever'_

"Oh god" Steve said louder as he continued to think and let the memories continue to overflow. Steve thought his life sucked, having to hide and being a wanted criminal, and it did, but what did Tony have? Sure Tony was a free man but he was alone. He had Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy but no one else. Steve had taken all of them with him. Steve's life had gone up once he had the kids, but Tony's had only gone down. 

_The kids_

Tony didn't have the kids because Steve had never told him about them. So scared of Tony trying to take them away he hadn't really thought about it. He knew Tony, Tony would never do something like that. He let his fears take over him, and it hid him from the truth. Tony was a good man. 

But there was still the accords problem. They would never agree on the accords. Steve would never sign them, and no matter how much he loved Tony, Tony would never change his mind on it. How would he tell Tony about the kids? If anyone ever found out that Tony had one year old kids it would be very obvious on who's kids they were. Everyone knew Tony loved Steve and would never have cheated. If anyone ever found out about the kids, it was only a matter of time before General Ross caught wind of it, and then they'd probably be able to find him and everyone else. Bucky. No matter what happened the government would never let Bucky be a free man. Was it really worth everything to tell Tony?

_"Only sleeping when he's drunk himself into it. Not leaving the tower. No Iron Man" _looking at his kids Steve knew everything was about to change for all of them, because his mind was made up. Grabbing the cell phone from the kitchen drawer with nothing else in it, he dialed the only number on the phone hoping Tony would answer. 

_"This better be good, _Rogers_"_


	6. How Do I Say We Have Kids That I Kept A Secret Without Sounding Like A Jerk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the reviews:) I didn't want to post the last chapter without posting this one, because no one likes a cliff hanger, so here you guys go. Enjoy

_"This better be good, _Rogers" Tony purposely spit out the word Rogers. What was once Rogers-Stark was now just Rogers, and even though he's known for two years that his last name was what it once was, hearing Tony say it hurt so much worse. This was a mistake, he never should have called. This would only make things worse for himself. He can't, he can't, he-

"Rogers? You there? Is this a prank call, because if it is let me to tell you that you can go fu-"

"I'm here" Steve whispered, all previous thoughts flying out the window. Normally he would joke and say language, but this wasn't normal. Steve didn't know what this was. They sat in silence for a few minutes, both just listening to the other breath before Tony broke it, unable to take the silence.

"As much as I love listening to us breath, what the hell do you want?" what did Steve want? The answer was pretty obvious but he couldn't say it. That would only make the situation worse.

"I saw a news report on you" Steve answered honestly, spinning the kitchen knife in his hand to give him something to focus on, lunch laying forgotten on the counter. 

"There's always news reports on me" Tony tried to sound indifferent, but Steve saw right through it. It was almost like he was ashamed that Steve saw something like that. 

"It said you hadn't left the tower in a while. No Iron Man" and drinking yourself to an early death, but he left that unsaid. 

"Not much to see outside the tower. No one to go and visit" Steve closed his eyes as he gripped the knife tighter in his hands, and he felt it start to bend. Biting his lip so he wouldn't cry out he took a few seconds to compose himself.

"Why'd you call Rogers?" and why did Steve call? He hadn't though about what to say. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, he saw Tony in trouble and he reacted. But what was he supposed to say _Hey Tony sorry you're feeling blue, but guess what? We have kids. Surprise. _Because that wouldn't make anything worse. But he had to tell Tony. 

"I just had to call you" was all Steve said, and that was the truth. He had to call Tony. He didn't realize how much he needed to. He should have called two years ago, but at least he's doing it now. He didn't realize something could hurt you so much but also make you incredibly happy, but that's what Tony's voice was doing to him.

"Really? You haven't called for two years"

"You didn't either" Steve pointed out, watching as Maria started to crawl to a concentrating James who had re picked up his blocks. Of course, now was the time she would grow bored of Dora, not in say about ten minutes after Tony found out she and James existed. Tony laughed on the phone but it was bitter and broken.

"So that makes it right?"

"No" Steve instantly disagreed, because it didn't make it right. "But it did make it safe" And safety overruled right every time now. Maria had reached James, and Steve waited to see if she would play peacefully with him or if she was in a mood. 

"Safe? You think I'd track the call?" 

"Honestly, I don't know. I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I think I'm more concerned of Ross somehow being able to do so" Maria grabbed a block from James pile, and examined it in her hands. Maybe she just wanted to play with the blocks for once.

"Please, like that old asshole could ever get into my systems" and that sounded like the old Tony, his Tony, that he couldn't resist saying it.

"Language" Tony sucked in a breath, as the running joke from the team registered and Steve knew he instantly messed up. It took him a few moments before he responded and the tone of his voice broke Steve a little more.

"Oh no Rogers, we are not doing this. We are not on joking terms" Steve nodded despite knowing that Tony couldn't see it.

"Sorry, it just slipped out. Listen Tony, there's actually a reason I called" this was it, this was the moment of truth. "Tony, I, no we. Tony we have-" a wail came from the living room, and Steve looked up in horror as Maria knocked all of Jame's blocks over.

"Shit" Steve said, putting the phone down and dropping the now useless knife as he rushed to James who looked ready to strangle his sister.

"Bad Maria" Steve scolded her like she was a dog, and she pout up at him before Steve heard her tummy grumble. So that's why she was acting up. She was hungry and wanted lunch, and Steve had forgotten to get it for her so she wanted his attention. She couldn't just cry like a normal child? Rushing to the kitchen Steve grabbed the two plates and put them in front of the two kids, letting them eat in the living room for once because he had to finish his talk with Tony. 

Shit, Tony.

Rushing, seriously he was doing too much rushing today, he picked up the phone praying Tony hadn't hung up.

"Tony? You still there?" There was no answer, and Steve swore under his breath. He had missed his chance because one of his children was a spawn of Satan. She was lucky he loved her more then anything else in the world, her and her brother. He went to hang up the phone when Tony spoke up and Steve thanked the lord.

"Was that a kid?" was all Tony asked. 

"Ya" he whispered, knowing the wheels in Tony's head were spinning. 

"Tell me you are just babysitting. You tell me that they are Nat's or the witch's, hell even Barnes's psycho child. Tell me" Tony pleaded and Steve knew this was the moment of truth.

"I can't tell you that Tony. Tony I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I was to scared and that doesn't excuse it, really, but I couldn't let anything happen to them" Steve answered without actually answering but Tony was smart. He'd figure it out. He waited for Tony to answer, and when he didn't Steve spoke up.

"To-" dial tone. Tony hung up. Steve dropped the phone and cried.

Tony hung up and threw the phone across the room, watching it hit one of his suits and bounce to the floor. He had a kid. Them. Steve had said them, meaning more then one. He had kids and he didn't know about them. He had kids that were almost a year old, and Steve didn't tell him. His vision got blurrier around the edges and it felt like his chest was being squeezed. 

"F.R.I.D.A.Y call Pepper. Call Pepper now" he ordered, and that was good. Pepper would know what to do, she always did. Pepper would help him.

"Tony?" Pepper never answered the phone in her usual playful tone anymore, always sounding like she was walking on eggshells. Ever since the accords she had become more worried about Tony then she already was, and couldn't find it in herself to get mad at him for anything anymore. 

"Steve called" Tony collapsed in his seat, tired of pacing and Pepper let out a quite 'oh'

"What did he-"

"We have kids!" Tony blurted out before she could finish, and he threw one of his wrenches across the room, finding the urge to destroy things instead of fix them.

"What?" Pepper asked in shock, not believing what she had just heard.

"Yup. I don't know how many, but more then one" Tony needed a drink, which is why he grabbed the bottle of half drunk whiskey and started drinking it straight. "He never told me! How could he not tell me!" he finished the bottle in seconds, but he needed more.

"Tony" Pepper sighed, knowing he was drinking.

"I mean really Pep, how could he not tell me? All we've ever wanted was to start a family, and yet when we do he doesn't tell me. That's not how relationships work" he was just rambling now, saying things that didn't make sense, because he and Steve weren't in a relationship, but still. They could be. Not knowing what else to do he threw the bottle of whiskey, and watched it shatter into a thousand little pieces.

"That's enough Tony!" Pepper finally snapped, and it shocked Tony enough to listen. "Should Steve have told you? Yes. But see things from his perspective; he's a wanted criminal. The kids could be taken from him. If he had called you you could have turned him in, and taken the kids. Now before you say you would never" she cut off Tony who was about to say exactly that "he doesn't know that. He was on a different side then you, and he almost killed you in a fit of rage. He probably wouldn't blame you if you took them" why did she always have to be right?

"I called you to side with me, not him" Tony whined rubbing his eyes with his hands. His head hurt.

"I'm not taking either side. I'm taking the side that will make you both realize you're morons in love"

"Love? You think he loves me? He took the side of a killer over the side of his husband! He drove his shield into my reactor which would have killed me!" Tony roared, the first time he's ever shouted at Pepper and instantly regretted it. She was the most wonderful woman in the world and he had raised his voice. Maybe now she'd leave him, just like everyone else.

"As a matter of fact, I do think he loves you. I remember him dragging your ass out of the lab when you were passed out drunk. I remember him patching up all of your wounds when you got hurt during a mission, because you refused to see a doctor. I remember him bringing you a coffee every morning, and bringing you meals so you would eat. Hell, I remember him punching Justin Hammer in the face after the man insulted you. And that's all before you two were dating! And yes, he tried to break your reactor which I will slap him for the next time I see him. But Tony, you know Steve. You know that wasn't him at all" damn it, she did have a point. 

"But he chose a murdering psychopath" he weakly defended and Pepper scoffed.

"You mean a man who was tortured and brainwashed for years, by the worst organization to ever exist? He wasn't in control of himself Tony, and you know that. You're reasoning is just being clouded because it's personal to you. But let me put it this way for you. Do you blame Clint for what happened with Loki? Or after Extremist, if I had become a murdering tool like the others, would you arrest me? Or try and kill me?"

"What? No, Pep I would never" how could she ever think that he would do that. Pepper was his second oldest friend, falling short behind Rhodey, how could she ever think that he would do that? Did she really think that low of him?

"Or if Rhodey ever got captured while he was in the military and he became a different man, would you turn your back on him? After Afghanistan, if they had broken you and made you like Bucky do you think any of us would have left you? No right. Well, that's how Steve is feeling" Tony sighed as it all sunk in. It didn't make it right, what Steve had done, but he was starting to get it. 

"I hate it when you're right" he told her, and he could feel her smirk,

"Then you must hate me all the time. Listen Tony. I'm tired of seeing you drink every night. I'm tired of running this company by myself because you can't be bothered anymore. I'm tired of seeing you heartbroken. I'm just tired. So, either call Steve back or don't. Either way, work yourself out Tony. I love you" and with that, the fearsome Pepper Potts hung up the phone, leaving Tony in silence with only his thoughts.

He wondered what they looked like. Did any of them look like him? What were their names? Boys or girls or both? But did he really want to know? Would it only cause more hurt if he became apart of their lives? 

_"I mean, I know I might not be the best dad because I didn't have a great father to look up to, but I swear Steve I would never be like Howard. I'd always make time for the kid, I'd show up to all their school activities, hell I'd even drive a soccer mom mini van if I had to, and that's saying a lot" _he swore to Steve that night as they laid in bed that he would never be like Howard. Kids have two parents for a reason. He'd have a late start but better late then never. First things first, he had to fix the phone. 


	7. A Civil Phone Call

Tony had never felt more focused on anything then he did right now. It wasn't hard to fix the phone and it wouldn't take long, he was Tony Stark after all, but the way he was treating it felt like he was working on a suit. That's how much care and focus he put into it. He was driven by the thought of his kids; he wanted to know everything about them, and he wanted to know now. Tony Stark was many things, but patient was not one of them.

And Steve. As much as Tony didn't want to admit it, he wanted to talk to Steve. Steve had always been the mother hen of the team, but Tony was starting to feel that way. Was Steve okay? Was he taking care of himself? Was he sleeping at night? Eating? He could only hope Steve wasn't dealing with everything the way he was.

_'Huh' _Tony thought as he worked, _'This must have been how Steve felt all that time' _all that time Steve worried about Tony, Tony had always pushed him away and told him he was fine. Now he was experiencing something similar and he understood how Steve felt. It sucked. Never again would he push away Steve's mother hen self. That is, if they ever got there again.

Finally after what seemed like forever, but was really only like twenty minutes, the phone was fixed. Turning it on, he watched the screen light up and dialed the only number on the phone, holding his breath until Steve answered.

Steve sat crumpled on the floor, head in his hands tugging at his hair. If Tony had ignored him or blew up at him, he said he'd be fine. That at least he could say he tried to get a connection with him again, but now Steve realizes he is a fool. Because he'd never be able to just brush off Tony, and Tony hanging up on him cut pretty deep.

He didn't demand that Steve hand the kids over to him, which was good. Not like Steve would ever, but it meant that Tony wasn't going to try and take them from him. At least Steve could say that he had told Tony the truth now; his conscious wouldn't eat away at him anymore. And really, Steve's been raising the kids for almost a year without Tony, he could continue to do it. Steve was fine. A good soldier can walk through hell with a smile, and that's exactly what he planned on doing.

Picking himself up off the floor he went to see what his rugrats were doing, and despite his mood couldn't help but smile as he saw them passed out on the floor, cuddled together. Picking them both up he cuddled them to his chest as he brought them to their room. He admired them as he walked; they really were the most precious things to Steve. They made everything ok.

Their room was half pink and half blue, making it look like a cotton candy monster had thrown up everywhere. Putting down both babies in their own cribs he went back to the living room to tidy up this mess before they made a new one. It was impressive how they made it look like a tornado mixed with an earthquake blew threw every room they entered. 

Going into the kitchen so he could fill a bucket to scrub the floors and get rid of the yellow paint, he saw the cell phone still on the ground. Bending down to pick it up he examined it in his hands. There was a crack in the screen, but other then that it was fine. He knew he'd never be able to just toss it, even if Tony were to tell him to rot in hell or something along those lines, so he opened the drawer to put it back in its spot, and jumped when it started to ring. 

The phone was ringing.

He was getting a call.

Tony was calling.

Once that thought kicked in, he hurriedly hit answer before it stopped.

"Tony?" the line was silent. Steve couldn't even hear anyone breathing. Had Tony pocket dialed him somehow?

"Tony, are you there?" Steve's voice broke as he spoke, really wishing that Tony would say something. Finally, he heard someone take a breath, sounding like it was their first breath in a while.

"I'm here" his voice was strained, and Steve imagined he had either been yelling or crying before this phone call. Maybe a bit of both. 

"You called back" Steve couldn't keep the amazement out of his voice, truly believing that Tony was done with him.

"Ya, sorry about that. I just, I just needed time. To process. Everything"

"And have you? Processed?" Steve picked at a loose thread from his t-shirt that was becoming longer the more Steve pulled but it offered a pleasant distraction. 

"A little" Tony answered honestly, and Steve took a seat on the floor knowing this was going to be a long conversation, and he wanted to at least be comfortable physically because verbally he may not be.

"We have a boy and a girl. Almost a year old, in two weeks they will be" Steve started to speak and he heard Tony let out a quiet hum.

"What are their names?" this is the part Steve knew would get emotional, because the names had meaning to Tony, and he hoped he could control himself enough to keep a level and steady voice, without starting to get choked up.

"The boy's name is James-"

"Named after Barnes?" of course Tony wouldn't be able to let him talk without interrupting. Sometimes it would seem that Tony was incapable of holding his tongue. He said it was part of his charm. Although, Steve noticed that when he said Barnes it wasn't as venomous as it usually was. It seemed nicer. Still with an edge to it, but almost mellowed out. Like instead of a steak knife it was a butter knife. 

"Partly. And after Rhodey. You and I both had a James by our side through everything. I wanted our daughter to have that as well"

"So you've given him the James curse? For shame Rogers" and it wasn't that funny, but hearing Tony joke around with him in that teasing tone of his, sent Steve into a fit of giggles that he couldn't stop. It was almost like old times. After a few moments he managed to compose himself and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't that funny" he apologized, but Tony cut him off with a chuckle that sent chills throughout him.

"Haven't heard you laugh in a while. Almost forgot what it sounded like"

"The girls name" Steve blurt out before Tony could say whether he missed the sound or not, not wanting to hear the answer, "is Maria" Tony was silent, but Steve knew he was still on the line. Steve was willing to sit in silence with Tony until he was ready.

"Maria?" Tony whispered like he couldn't believe Steve would still name her that after everything.

"After your mother. You always said that's what you wanted the girls name to be" Tony went quiet again so Steve decided to keep talking. "They don't look like twins, but they do look like a mix of us. James is older by eighteen minutes. He has your brown hair, but my blue eyes. He likes to build things and take things apart, but he's got my shyer personality, and a more innocent look in his eyes. Maria has my blonde hair, but your brown eyes. She likes to paint things and make messes, but she's got your devilish personality. Even mastered your smirk at only a year old. They are both a handful, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. I could send you pictures after this, if you'd like" Steve offered, knowing Tony would want some.

"I'd like that. Shit Steve, they sound perfect" Tony finally said, voice cracking a little, and he couldn't be more right. Steve grinned as he realized Tony had just called him Steve for the first time, and not Rogers. He wouldn't comment on it because he didn't want to set Tony off, but he felt tingly. Maybe one day they wouldn't be walking around on egg shells with each other.

"They are one hundred percent perfect"

"And what about you?"

"What about me?" Steve furrowed his eyebrows, confused by what Tony was asking.

"How have you been?" Tony asked, and Steve's heart sped up a little at the care that he could hear.

"I've been decent. I'm taking care of myself. Some days I don't feel like rolling out of bed, but they make it worth it" he admitted honestly because some days he really didn't feel like getting up. He just wanted to lie in bed and cry, or pretend for a little while he didn't exist anymore. But then the kids would need him, and he'd be fine for a while. "What about you?"

"You saw the news" was all Tony said, and Steve sighed.

"Ya, I did" they grew silent again, and Steve didn't know what else he could say that would help Tony. There was one thing, but he wasn't sure if Tony would want to. But this was all about starting something together, meaning no more secrets and lies. Plus he'd never know unless he offered.

"Hey Tony?"

"Ya Steve?"

"We're having a party, in two weeks for their first birthday. Would you want to come? You could come a few days earlier if you wanted, that way you could meet them in private, and you could bring whoever you wanted. I could text you our coordinates" _please come _was left unsaid, but Steve's sure Tony picked up on it. He was always good at being able to pick up what Steve wasn't saying. It was another reason they worked so well together, both being able to just sense and read the other person, being able to communicate with no words. He waited with bated breath for Tony's answer.

"Ya Steve, I'll be there"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? It's almost reunion time!


	8. Reunited at last

The two weeks seemed to fly by. Steve had texted Tony random pictures of the kids when he could, and Tony would save all of them but that was about the extent to their communications. Even though Tony knew about the kids now, it seemed to change nothing between them. But that was all about to change because today was the day Tony would be arriving. He had decided to just show up the day of the party, and Steve guessed he was limiting his time. He hadn't told him who he would be bringing, but Steve had a pretty good guess that he would be bringing the whole crew.

"Come on James, I need you to cooperate with me" Steve begged his kid, who was fighting him because he would much rather stay in his pj's. Maria was in a pale blue dress, with a daisy headband on her head. James had brown pants and a cute button up blue shirt, same colour as his sister's. Steve shied away from the blue, and instead wore a red button up shirt and black dress pants. The red obviously had its symbolism. Maria had been easy to dress, but James was fighting Steve while he tried to button the shirt.

"Need a hand?" Wanda asked from the nursery doorway, but without waiting for an answer was already bouncing through the door. She had lost her accent, it only came out when she spoke really fast and it was still a little weird to hear her without it. Since being here, and having the kids be born Wanda had started acting more her age. She had turned eighteen recently and it was nice to see her so open. She spent a lot of the time with the twins, and Steve wasn't afraid to admit he started to act fatherly towards the girl, seeing her as another daughter. 

"Brat won't sit still" Steve told her, and she gently pushed him out of the way to do it herself. James cooed as her hair dangled in his face, and he gently tugged on it. She had dyed it orange to hide her identity, and Steve liked it. It seemed to give her more life and colour in her skin and face. Smiling, Steve picked up Maria and waited for Wanda to finish. 

"You ready for today?" Steve asked her, because while today would be tough on him he knew it would also be hard on everyone else involved. Wanda's back stiffened after he asked, but she didn't stop to look at him, choosing to focus on the buttons.

"Probably about as ready as you are" she told him honestly, and he nodded. 

"No matter what happens today, you remember you are a good person. And if Tony says anything to you, you can be damn sure I'll be stepping in" Wanda shot him an appreciative smile as he said that, and he returned it. Lifting James up Wanda rested him on her hip and faced Steve.

"Ready?" he nodded and waited for her to pass before following after her. But as she passed him, she stopped to hug his side. It was a little awkward considering they were both holding a child, but Steve wouldn't complain. 

"Thanks Steve" after a few seconds she let go, and Steve followed her out of the room.

"So is Vision coming?" Steve asked as they left the cabin. It was decided that the party would take in the palace ball room, because it was bigger and had working staff members.

"I believe he is. I think he's coming with Stark" Wanda no longer spat out Stark, but it was clear there wouldn't be a hugging reunion between the two anytime soon. 

"That's good. No sneaking off to a broom closet" Wanda gasped as she spun around to face him, cheeks already turning rosy.

"That was one time! And you swore you would never speak of it again" she playfully punched his shoulder, and Steve chuckled. What an embarrassing moment that had been for all of them, when Steve had opened up the broom closet in the palace, thinking it was a bathroom door, and instead of a toilet he saw Wanda and Vision in a heavy make out session. Thankfully, clothes were still on.

"I don't remember promising anything" Steve teased and Wanda huffed, before marching the rest of the way to the palace. It wasn't that long of a walk, and it was peaceful and warm so no one minded. Nat, Bucky, Sam, T'Challa, Shuri, Nakia, Okoye, Queen Ramonda, and Adia were all going to be there, and a few other palace people that Steve knew. Tony would definitely bring Rhodey and Pepper, maybe Happy, and Wanda said Vision was coming, so it would be a decent sized party. Clint and Scott couldn't make it, both not wanting to risk anything with their house arrests, but soon they swore they would see each other again. And Bruce and Thor were still no shows. No one even knew if Bruce was alive.

As they approached the palace doors, the guards nodding at them as they passed, they were suddenly halted by a panting Sam. Sam still relatively looked the same from two years ago, the only difference being he had grown out his facial hair.

"It's about damn time" he huffed out, and Steve wondered how fast he had run to get so winded.

"Sorry, it took a little longer-"

"He's already here" Sam interrupted, and Steve froze. No, that wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be here until later, when Steve was more prepared. Not now, not when he would have to do a dramatic entrance where everyone would be starring. Tony ran by his own clock, which meant everything at least three hours late, and yet he's here on time the one day he shouldn't be.

"When did he get here?" 

"Half hour ago maybe. We were going to send you a message, but figured we may as well just wait and not make your walk anxious. He brought Colonel Rhodes, Vision, Pepper, and Happy. Shit Steve, he brought the whole crew, the only one he forgot was that spider thing" it didn't surprise Steve that Tony had brought everyone; they were his support people. Wanda was looking at Steve worriedly, for both herself and Steve, and Steve nodded assuredly at her.

"I'm fine. We shouldn't keep everyone waiting any longer" fixing Maria on his hip, he led the way, using his soldier walk. Head held high, shoulders back, eyes straight. He could do this. He wouldn't break down, not now. This was the moment he had been waiting for, but also dreaded. Approaching the ball room doors, he nodded at the two men keeping guard and they nodded back before opening the doors. 

This is it.

The room was decorated beautifully. Pink and blue balloons were scattered across the floor, some in the ceilings along with streamers. There was a table full of presents, and another full of snacks. The dining tables either had a blue or pink table cloth on them, and there was two giant one balloons. The floor was spotless so that if Steve put the kids down they wouldn't choke on anything. Everyone had truly outdone themselves.

But despite how perfect the room looked, the company inside was anything but. There was a clear divide in the room, Team Cap on one, Team Iron Man on the other, and Team T'Challa in the middle. And then, Steve saw Tony and it was so cliche, like in one of those movies Wanda loved, but it actually seemed that time had stopped. Because there Tony was, in a fancy black suit and tie, sitting at a table between Pepper and Rhodey, Happy across from him. His hair had gotten a few more strands of grey in it, and his eye bags were still very prominent, but to Steve he looked perfect as always. 

It was Shuri who noticed them first, and she clapped her hands together when she saw them. 

"Well it's about time" and suddenly everyone's eyes were on them, and oh god Tony was looking at him, and Steve was no longer sure he could do this. Thankfully he was saved by Nat, because Nat was always there for him, who came over to steal Maria.

"Hello printsessa" Nat cooed, using her Russian nickname for her niece. She made eye contact with him, and he smiled weakly in appreciation. She had cut her hair again, so it fell just above her shoulders, and it was dyed blonde. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to seeing her look like this. 

"You need to leave at anytime, you let me know" she whispered to him and he nodded before turning to face everyone else in the room.

"Sorry we're late. James didn't want to get dressed" his voice only broke once as he spoke, and he considered that a win.

"Of course he did, have you seen the outfit you put him in?" Bucky walked over teasing, but Steve could see how tense he was, and his eyes kept flickering to Tony's side of the room. It was like he was waiting to be attacked. Bucky looked the best out of everyone; while everyone changed their looks to loose their identity, he changed to find his identity. Physically he didn't look much different. He got a new arm that Shuri made him out of vibranium, but that was really the only physical change. It was the aura around him that had changed; it was happy, and carefree and it was like the old Bucky. 

"Excuse me asshole, I helped pick out the outfits" Sam walked to stand in front of Bucky and crossed his arms.

"Exactly" Bucky smirked, and Sam punched his shoulder, a lot more gentle then he would have two years ago. Something was happening between the two of them, and Steve was happy to sit back and watch them realize they loved each other. If this was how he and Tony acted in the beginning, both hiding their feelings with snark and attitude then he understood why everyone smirked knowingly at each other when he and Tony talked. Because now he shared those smirks with Nat and Wanda. 

"I think they look adorable" Queen Ramonda gracefully walked over, and smiled at everyone. 

"Your majesty" Steve greeted, and Queen Ramonda rolled her eyes.

"You do not need to call me that, _Captain"_ it was a small joke between the two. As long as Steve called her her majesty, she would call him captain. "But unfortunately I can not stay. I am needed elsewhere. Good luck" she told him before leaving, two maids following after her. She didn't hide the 'good luck' because she was a Queen in her home country, what was anyone going to do if she offended them? The room grew silent after that, nobody knowing what to do. Steve didn't know what to do. Did he go over to Tony, or did he wait for Tony to come to him? 

"Cake will be served in a bit. After cake, we will do presents" T'Challa told everyone, and Shuri chimed in from beside him.

"And I would like everyone to know, I got them the best presents" 

"You wish princess" Nakia teased, and that got everyone to ease up and start socializing. All except for Steve, and he could guess Tony wasn't comfortable either. Wanda set James down on the floor, and he cutely fell on his bum straight away before crawling away.

"What do I do?" Steve turned to the original four who had accompanied him, and not one of them looked like they had a helpful answer. 

"Go and talk to him?" Sam suggested, but Steve quickly shook his head.

"Not while he's surrounded by people" 

"Wait for him to come to you. He could be waiting for the right moment. Remember, this was all just sprung on him two weeks ago" Nat told him still holding Maria, and Steve nodded.

"I just hate waiting, I wish-"

"Steve" Wanda cut him off, looking over his shoulder at something with her mouth agape. Furrowing his eyebrows he turned to see what could be bothering the girl, and gasped. James was standing, and taking slow steps in the direction of Tony, who look horrified but also in awe of the child nearing him. It was like James knew who Tony was, and instantly felt a connection to him. James fell down, but pushed himself back up, to stubborn to quit just like both his parents. Steve along with everyone else waited to see if James would reach Tony by walking. He took a step, before another one, only falling down once more before he was holding on to Tony's knee a wide goofy smile on his face. The room erupted into cheers, and Steve to proud to think about what he was doing was approaching the table.

"Oh my god, you did it baby boy! You took your first steps!" Steve picked up James and kissed his cheek, and James clapped his hands together, like he was applauding himself. 

"I'm so proud of you!" Steve looked up from James, and realized where he was standing. They were so close that if Steve slid his leg up a little more they would be touching. When he looked down, he wasn't surprised to see brown eyes already starring back. Swallowing, Steve spoke to the man he loved for the first time in person in two years.

"Hello Tony"


	9. Two Years Later And Still Perfect

"Hey Tony" Steve managed to stutter out, immediately diverting his eyes to focus on his chest which turned out to be a worse decision then if he continued to look in his eyes. He couldn't see the reactor under the suit, but that didn't stop the thoughts.

_Clang_

Tony laying on the cold stone floor under him, Steve straddling him but it wasn't intimate or playful like usual.

_Clang_

Steve raising the shield above his head and slamming it down on the arc reactor, not thinking, to driven by his anger over the situation.

_Clang_

Tony's heartbroken cry as Steve hit him for the first time, and Steve wanting to throw up as he realized what he had just done.

"Steve?" It was Pepper that spoke, her voice unusually quiet and not at all like the fierce Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark industries. Steve blinked his eyes a few times, to snap himself out of his horrid memories. He hadn't realized his eyes had started to fill with tears. Pepper was looking at him with concern, and while Rhodey and Happy tried to look indifferent he could see the hidden worry. And Tony, Tony was just starring. If Steve didn't know Tony like the back of his hand he would say he didn't care. But Steve did know Tony, even after two years, and he could tell the man was worried. And seeing Tony's worry, over the memories Steve just had, made him want to run back to his cabin and curl under the blankets and never leave again. Because Steve didn't deserve it.

"I. Fine" Steve wasn't speaking proper English, he couldn't get his breaths out evenly. He couldn't do this. 

"Hey Steve, we're going to bring the cake out now" Adia stepped in, and bless that woman. She wrapped an arm around his waist, her petite frame making her not able to reach his shoulders not that many people could, and guided him away to stand in front of the connecting kitchen doors where they would roll out the cake. He knew T'Challa had probably order the cake to be brought out earlier to save people from awkwardly standing around waiting to do something. 

"Thank you" Steve whispered, and she squeezed his hip.

Everyone had gathered in a semi circle, Nat at the front holding Maria still. Would that woman ever put her down Steve did not know. He walked up to stand beside her, and she studied him as he stopped. He tried to give her a genuine smile, but who was he kidding? Nat seemed to be struggling with a decision, before turning to shout behind her.

"Stark! Get your ass up here and hold your daughter" Steve shot a panicked look at Nat, who smiled reassuringly at him. 

"You don't have to talk. But give him small things. Baby steps" Steve didn't turn around to see if Tony had listened, but when the Black Widow told you to do something, you did it or feared pain. No time away from one another would allow you to forget that. Slowly, Tony moved up to stand beside him facing Nat with a worried expression. She just rolled her eyes at him.

"For gods sake Stark, I've seen you diffuse a bomb without breaking out into a sweat. Put that arm under her to support her and just bounce her on your hip to keep her content" she adjusted Maria in his arms, and Steve couldn't help but sneak glances at them from the corner of his eyes. Maria was starring at Tony with an unreadable expression on her face as she tried to figure out who the stranger was. Tony just starred back, but Steve could see the apprehension leave him and the love take over.

"Hello Maria" he murmured, and a stray tear rolled down Steve's cheek at the beautiful scene before him. For a little while he could pretend they were as perfect as this picture. Maria clapped her hands against Tony's cheeks and giggled as she repeatedly did it.

"Not to rough Maria" Steve scolded gently, and he could feel Tony lift his gaze to him, but Steve turned his attention to James who was squirming impatiently. 

"Happy Birthday to you" the lights dimmed down as the biggest cake Steve had ever seen rolled out of the kitchen. It was a three tier cake, half pink and half blue and had one giant candle on top in the shape of a one.

"Happy birthday to you" everyone had joined in singing now, and the cake rolled closer to the group. Someone, he guessed it was Bucky, squeezed his shoulder from behind.

"Happy birthday dear James and Maria. Happy birthday to you" the cake rolled to a stop in front of them, and Shuri called out, loosing all patience when all she wanted to do was eat;

"Blow out the candle for them dads" 

"Don't forget to make a wish. It is a tradition" Vision told them from where he stood beside Wanda, and Steve wondered if he knew that genuinely or if it was something he knew from downloading it. Steve turned to finally look at Tony, who was already starring at him. This was the first time they had made direct eye contact in two years for more then three seconds. And in two years his eyes had changed dramatically. They were empty, dull, and held no Tony Stark spark. But there was a tiny bit of something in them now, hidden behind the sadness, and Steve dared to believe it was hope. 

"Don't want to keep everyone waiting" Steve whispered and Tony nodded, turning to face the candle that was starting to burn out. Steve knew what he would wish for, and he hoped that wishes really did come true from candles, and even if it wasn't his birthday. Together they blew out the candle and their audience cheered. Steve smiled clutching James tighter to him. 

"The pink side is vanilla, and the blue side is chocolate" one of the waiters told them as he started to cut it, and went wide eyed as people started shouting what they wanted.

"Children please, the poor man can't understand all of you" T'Challa laughed, trying to get them to calm down. But the king was no match for a bunch of cake starved people.

"I'm a princess, and I want chocolate" Shuri demanded but it was all in good fun.

"Well Tony and I are the parents of the birthday babies, and we want chocolate for him and vanilla for me. Kids can eat off our plates" Steve told her, and momentarily froze as he realized he had ordered for his ex and volunteered him to feed Maria. But he was saved by the man himself who joined in on the fun.

"Sorry princess, dads over rule you" and oh boy, the phone did his voice no justice. Hearing his voice in person after such a long time sounded like a beautiful song. It was a bit scratchy and wasn't as upbeat, but it still sounded amazing. And he didn't correct what Steve had said, so Steve knew he must still prefer chocolate. Tony shot him a shy smile when he caught him looking, and Steve returned it.

"Did you want to eat together?" Steve blurted out before he could think it through, but he was tired of walking on egg shells. He may as well just go for it, or hold his tongue. Tony looked shocked at the question, and Steve thought he would decline but he didn't. 

"Sure" he lead the way to a table, surprisingly walking well while holding a baby and a plate of cake, and Steve followed behind him. They sat at a table near the back, where people would hopefully get the hint to give them so privacy. 

"If you want you can feed Maria small bites. She really likes sugary things, so she'll probably enjoy the icing" Steve told him already feeding James a small bite, and Tony nodded.

"Like this?" Tony held up a small piece on his fork and Steve nodded.

"Ya, just make sure you don't accidentally poke her mouth with the fork. Accidentally did that once and she cried for ten minutes" what a terrible memory that was. It was one of Steve's first times feeding her with a fork, and they didn't have any clean rubber spoons so he used the forks he used and accidentally poked her. She screamed for ten minutes and Steve felt like the worst father in the world. 

"Poor baby" Tony teased, gently feeding her some cake. Maria's eyes widened adorably at the flavour, and opened her mouth for another which Tony very happily gave her.

"You're a natural" Steve praised and Tony blushed a little.

"It's not that hard" he shrugged.

"Don't discredit yourself. You're doing great" Tony scooped a spoonful into his mouth, and Maria looked at him as if she had betrayed him. She decided that that was unacceptable and grabbed the cake in her tiny fists and started to eat it, smearing it all over her face. 

"Oh shit, no. Maria, you shouldn't" Tony looked at Steve helpless, and Steve laughed. Now he understood what everyone had seen on his face when they were first born. He thought they were exaggerating the panicked dad look, but he now realized it was actually a thing. And he could finally understand their laughter every time they saw it. 

"Told ya, she's a little devil. But she's fine, one piece of cake won't hurt her. And she's getting more on the floor then in her mouth" Tony nodded and relaxed, and let Maria be.

"Sure, give me the devil child while you keep the good one" and it was true, James was patiently waiting to be fed while Maria just helped herself.

"The vanilla boys will not be associated with you chocolate devils" Steve teased and took a bite for himself. Tony looked teasingly appalled and fired back quickly.

"At least we have character, unlike you boring people" and this was so the Steve and Tony from before the accords, but it still felt natural. Like they had never missed a beat between the two of them. Steve couldn't help it, he just starred at Tony until Tony felt his gaze and saw Steve looking at him like he did years ago. And Tony panicked. Steve sensed the change, and how he must have over stepped his boundaries, but it was so hard because he just got lost in it all. He'd always get lost in Tony. He dropped his gaze, to his plate and poked at his cake, no longer interested. James huffed in annoyance, and Steve got the hint to keep feeding him.

"Hey" Tony whispered, and Steve's gaze flickered upwards for a split second before dropping again. Tony wasn't looking at him, instead keeping his gaze on Maria, so Steve kept his on James.

"We'll talk. Later. After this, just the two of us" and that was the best news Steve had received all day. 


	10. A step forward?

The party went over fairly well. James had a temper tantrum once, everyone glared at one another, and Maria got cake everywhere but with all things considered the day was pretty good. They had done presents, where everyone argued jokingly over who had gotten the best present. Between new paints, blocks, clothes, stuffed animals, a box collection of every episode of Dora (Shuri had a shit eating grin on her face as that one was unwrapped, everyone knowing how much Steve despised the show. Best present his ass) the kids would never be bored. Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy even got them some baby books. The only one who hadn't brought a present was Tony himself, which upset Steve, but he wasn't mad. He didn't want to be mad anymore. It was exhausting. T'Challa cleared his throat, which gained everyone's attention. 

"Today has been a lovely day, but I must take my leave now. Anthony, you and your friends are welcome to stay for as long as you like. I can have someone show you your rooms later should you choose to stay. Steven, I will talk to you and your friends in a bit" T'Challa gave him a look that told him it was Nomad business. He nodded his head in understanding, ignoring Tony's curious gaze. T'Challa crossed his arms in the Wakandan pose, and Steve mirrored it.

"Good bye trouble makers" he smiled at the kids who were close to falling asleep and walked out of the room. 

"Enjoy your Dora" Shuri grinned and Steve fake glared at her retreating back. Adia, Okoye, and Nakia followed them out after their own hugs goodbye, which just left the Avengers. Well, former avengers. Without T'Challa there was no civil ground in this room, no one to separate them from fighting. 

"So, when he said he'll talk to you guys later I'm guessing it wasn't to sit down and talk about his day" Tony crossed his arms across his chest and stared at them quizzically, as if he could get them to reveal any details about what was happening. Steve bent down to start picking up the kids toys so that he could carry them back to the cabin, and it would give him an excuse to ignore Tony.

"You're right, he prefers to talk about the weather" Nat snapped back right away coming to help Steve with the toys. She winked at him when they made eye contact and he snorted. Nat's sass never failed. 

"Of course, how silly of me to think otherwise. So this is where you guys have been hiding? Kitty cat had a change of heart and decided to take you guys in?" Tony continued to pry, not hiding the bitterness in his voice.

"Tony" Rhodey warned and Tony held his hands up like he was surrendering. But everyone who knew Tony knew he wouldn't stay down for long before he started firing questions again. It was one of the traits that Steve had hated in the beginning, then slowly grew to love. Now, he was starting to hate it again. 

"I can carry the toys back, while you sort the kids" Bucky offered, and that was the wrong thing to say to not get Tony going again.

"Ya I see you have another arm. Surprised they would make you one" Bucky froze as Tony's words swept over him. But before Steve could jump in and defend Bucky, or possibly defend Tony from Bucky, it was Sam who jumped in. 

"He's a good man. Why wouldn't they make him a new arm, after you took his old one?" Sam put himself in front of Bucky, and Steve thought that was a better shield then even his old one. Because Sam would rather drop dead before he let anyone near Bucky who had threatening intentions. The shock on everyone's face that didn't know how close Sam and Bucky had gotten almost made Steve laugh. He would have in a different scenario. Tony looked back and forth between them, trying to work something out in his head, as if they were one of his formulas. 

"Are you two?" the implication was clear, and even Steve was a little curious to hear the answer. The two of them were so secretive, the only one who might know would be Nat because what didn't she know?

"No" both Sam and Bucky snapped, refusing to look at the other, but the way their cheeks both heat up told everyone all they needed to know. 

"Tony" Pepper spoke gently but firmly, squeezing his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Steve tightened his grip on one of the books he was holding at seeing how close they were.

_'Moron, what right do you have to be jealous?' _exhaling slowly he let up on his grip, and winced a little at the finger indents left on the front cover of The Cat In The Hat. 

"Talk to Steve, and then lets go" she told him, and he nodded. So, they weren't planning on staying. Probably for the best. 

"Bucky, you and Sam can take the stuff back to the house, Wanda and Vision you take the kids, no broom closet, Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy I'll show you guys around to buy these two some time while they talk" Nat told everyone. No one disagreed with her plan, even if some wanted to. Like Steve for example. But he knew this was inevitable, he had to talk to Tony eventually. It's just, without anyone here, there was no one to hold the other back. Wanda walked over to Steve to pick up Maria, Vision following behind to grab James. Despite being robotic, he was actually pretty good with kids. 

"Try not to play with their minds" Tony spat at Wanda, who's eyes flashed red at the implication that she would hurt either of the two. 

"Enough" Steve snapped, finally at the end of his rope. Wanda's eyes turned back to their original colour, and she grabbed Maria and quickly left the room. Tony glared at Steve.

"Tony, we'll be back in a bit. You gonna be ok?" Rhodey asked looking between the two of them and Tony waved his hand dismissively. Rhodey nodded and gave a sharp look at Steve that had so much meaning in it. _Don't hurt him, again_. As they walked by, Happy tried to look intimidating to Steve, sizing him up. Steve simply raised his eyebrows, and Happy moved on embarrassed. 

"Играй честно" (Play nice) Nat said in Russian, knowing that only he would understand. 

"Не обещаю" (No promises) he told her back and she chuckled, before leading them out of the room leaving only Tony and him. He sat down knowing this was going to be a long, and angry conversation. 

"You speak Russian now?" of course, that would be the first question to come to his mind.

"One of the things I've picked up on. Not fluent, but I know enough. But that's not what you really want to talk about, is it?" Tony let out a humorless chuckle. 

"Always straight to the point. But you're right, that's not what I wanted to say. You still treat her like a kid" 

"She may have just turned eighteen, but she's still a kid. She's _my _kid" he spat at Tony, who flinched a little at how angry he sounded. Getting mad seemed to be impossible to avoid no matter how hard he tried. 

"She's also a weapon of mass destruction. You can't see that" so that's what they were starting with. The whole thing behind everything; the accords. This was one of the things Steve would not apologize for. He'd apologize for leaving Tony to die after almost killing him, for not telling him the truth about his parents, and not telling him about the kids. But fighting on the side he did was not to be apologized for.

"I'm not apologizing for the accords. There are things I have to apologize for, I know that. But you can preach your damn accords until you're blue in the face. You won't change my mind" Steve crossed his arms across his chest, and Tony breathed heavily through his nose. It was like a dragon, getting ready to blow fire.

"I don't agree with everything the accords said. Hell I don't even know if I agree with half the things on there. But I think they are a necessity. You say that the safest hands are our own. Have you forgotten all the harm we've caused?" Tony took a seat opposite Steve. He looked casual as he sat, but Steve could see the way his body tensed, like he was waiting for Steve to burst. He wondered if the Iron Man suit was somewhere near by, waiting to be call upon. 

"People forget that even though we are advanced, we are human. We make mistakes, and ya when we do there can be more disastrous consequences than a regular person" and that was the truth. They were humans, and all humans made mistakes. He may be a super soldier but that doesn't make him flawless. 

"But we could avoid those disastrous mistakes if we had control. We can't just show up to a country when we think they need us. We have to wait for them to call on us" Tony argued back, tightening his grip on the edge of the table.

"And what mistakes are you talking about? The creation of Ultron? That's one of the reasons you went along with this right? You built something that blew up in your face, and you think we all have to pay for it" Tony looked at him like he couldn't believe he had just said that, and Steve knew it was a low blow that he almost wished he could take back. He knew how much Tony blamed himself for Sokovia, and he did have the best intentions when it came to building the robotic nightmare. 

"Fuck you" Tony spat at him, but Steve kept going. It was like word vomit at this point.

"And we all know how trustworthy the government is right? It's not like S.H.I.E.L.D turned out to actually be H.Y.D.R.A in disguise. They told me you saw the raft. Do you honestly think that that's right. We get dropped off in the middle of the ocean, where we'll be forgotten all because we don't want to sign the accords. Did you see Wanda? She was wearing a shock collar and straight jacket" they sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Maybe time couldn't heal all wounds. Maybe they were too broken to ever mold together again. Steve sighed, redrawing Tony's attention. 

"Look, I didn't call you here to fight. And I know I do have some things to apologize for, so let's move on to that because we're getting nowhere right now. We'll never agree on the accords. I am sorry for not telling you about your parents. The second I had my suspicions I should have told you. But I thought, if I ignored it pretended I didn't see it then it wasn't real. That Bucky had nothing to do with it. But you're right, I should have told you. You have to understand though, it wasn't him Tony. I mean, yes it was him that killed Howard and your mom, but it wasn't mentally him. There's these trigger words, that if they are said to him he's just a puppet waiting for someone to control him. He's getting better, he still has his moments but he's in there and I can't give up on him" and no matter what happened with Bucky, Steve would have his back because it was the two of them till the end of the line.

"I didn't know about the trigger words. That's pretty shitty" was what Tony decided to say, and Steve couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly. He knew Tony wouldn't just forgive Bucky, possibly not ever, but maybe he could understand. 

"Ya. Pretty shitty. I can't even begin to apologize enough for what happened in the Hydra base. I blacked out, just one minute we were fighting and the next I'm bringing my shield down on your reactor. Fuck, I could have killed you. And there isn't enough apologizes I could give for that" Steve bit his lip to try and distract him for the painful memories that overtook him. He really didn't remember much from the bunker. It was all blank, his anger overtaking him. He only woke up when Tony started crying. 

"Never before had I ever been scared of you. Mr justice, freedom, and apple pie's. But in that moment, you terrified me. And seeing you now, I realize you still scare me" Steve bit his lip harder, not registering the pain, and he could feel it split and the taste of pennies filled his mouth. 

"You scare me because I realize I don't know you. I once said you didn't have a dark side, and you tried to tell me you did. Stupid of me to not believe you" Tony had a tear slowly trailing down his cheek, and Steve wanted to wipe it but refrained. Tony was scared of him, Tony is scared of him. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to break something, he wanted to scream, he wanted he wanted he wanted.

"You do know me Tony. Everything you know about me is real. It's the real me, and I'm sorry, god I'm so fucking sorry and I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do" Steve felt his throat start to close, and it was harder to breath. 

"Do I?" Tony whispered, and he looked like he didn't believe it. He didn't know how to respond, because how do you prove to your ex husband that you almost killed in a fit of rage that you were a good person still? You couldn't. 

"You don't" he finally admitted, and that was honest. Tony couldn't know that he was a good person without proof, and Steve had none of that.

"I should have told you about the kids" this conversation wasn't going to get better, so he may as well just go all out now. "But I wasn't going to take the chance that you could take them from me, or that we could be tracked. We're very lucky to be here in Wakanda, but even this place isn't impenetrable. I just, I need them safe and I need them with me" because I will loose my mind. Did he have anything else he needed to apologize for? He didn't think so. 

"You really thought I would take them from you?" Tony didn't sound mad as he spoke, he sounded genuinely curious. 

"I'm a criminal because of those accords. You could do whatever you wanted and I probably wouldn't get a say"

"That's not what I asked. Did you think I would take them from you?" he so badly wanted to assure Tony that no he didn't think that about him, but that would be a lie and there were supposed to be no more of those.

"Yes" he whispered, and Tony nodded his head slowly lips scrunched together.

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't you" he shrugged. And really why wouldn't Tony. If Tony took them they wouldn't be secrets anymore. They could actually grow up like normal children, well as normal as one could with Tony Stark as a father, and not be worried about being tracked down one day. 

"I wouldn't because I would know that they were with a loving father who was treating them right" Tony gave him a small smile, that Steve mirrored. Well he attempted to copy it, but it probably looked more strained.

"I don't know what to do now. I want you to be a part of their lives, you all deserve that. But you can't take them out into public without them becoming exposed, and it would only be a matter of time before the government finds out about them, or enemies. No one outside of Wakanda knows about them" 

"We'll figure it out. I want to be a part of their lives. If I have to come to Wakanda to see them so be it. Now, what would you say if I asked to stay in Wakanda for a few days instead of going home like I planned?" Steve grinned at Tony, happy beyond words. 

"That would be great"

"Ok. I'm going to go find my friends, and tell them the change of plans. Pepper and Happy will probably go home, but Rhodey might stay. We'll tour the palace, I hear the princess has a lab that's supposedly better then mine. Doubt it. You should go have that meeting with King kitten, and then after maybe you can take me to your house" Tony stood up and pat him on the shoulder before making his leave.

"Oh, and Steve?" Tony paused in the doorway, and Steve turned his head to stare at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Language" Tony winked and left. And in that moment Steve knew that no matter what the future held, no matter what happened now, they'd be ok. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, an update!  
So as you can see this isn't going to be a quick makeup. We've got a long way for these morons to get back together.  
Also, I did update a few chapters so if something doesn't make sense (Nomad) that's because I just added that in a few chapters back.  
Also, chapters will be getting longer now, now that we've gotten to the main plot of the story (getting them together again)  
Enjoy


	11. What was supposed to be a good day, keeps getting worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of people have been asking me why Tony didn't apologize for anything, and it's like you guys read my mind, because that's actually going to be a huge part of this story. There will be no Stony until Tony apologizes, because he is not the innocent victim while Steve is the bad guy. Not in this story.   
The other question I get asked is, is Bucky and Sam going to get together? And all I can say is, WinterFalcon fans should end up happy by the end of the story.   
One last thing; will Thor, Bruce, and Clint ever get back with the team? And the answer is yes, we just have to be patient.   
Happy reading everyone.

Steve hadn't seen Tony since they talked, which was only two hours ago but with how giddy he felt, it felt like a life time. He had run, literally run home, after sitting in the party room for a half hour thinking to himself. He just couldn't believe that Tony was staying! Would Tony want to stay in his house with him? Would it be too bold of Steve to ask? But right now none of that mattered. What mattered was what T'Challa was saying. Wanda had volunteered to stay behind and watch the kids with Vision, as long as she was informed straight away as to what was said. Steve and the other three were down in the lab watching Shuri pull up a picture to show them. 

"I am sorry to drag you down now when today is the last day that you want to be bothered by outside issues, but this is urgent" T'Challa apologized as they crowded around the hologram. 

"It's ok. A good soldier is always ready for duty" Steve smiled tightly, because really on his kids birthday this was the last place he wanted to be. But the look in the kings eyes and the tone of his voice told Steve that this was serious.

"This is Nathan Carron. He was found dead in an alleyway in France two weeks ago which is where him and his wife were vacationing" Shuri explained pulling up the mans picture. He looked young, maybe around his own age. He had dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and had wide shoulders.

"How did he die?" Nat questioned, and Steve could hear something in her voice as her gaze grew more intent on the image. She was seeing something that no one else was. 

"Gunshot wound to the head. But he was roughed up a bit. Broken ribs, sprained wrist among other cuts and bruises" T'Challa explained using the same tone as Nat. Ok, so she wasn't the only one who saw something with this man. But what could it be? Looking at the picture it was impossible to piece together something without anymore details. 

"That's sad and all, but why does this matter to us?" Sam asked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. Good, Steve wasn't the only one who couldn't piece it together. He hated feeling like a moron, it usually reminded him of how uncultured he was in this century. Shuri and her brother shared a look that made Steve huff in annoyance over being left out.

"The person who found Mr. Carron described the assailants to the police. There were three. Not many details to go by because it was so dark, but they did see one thing very clearly; a skull surrounded by what they called octopus legs" Steve shut his eyes and took a deep breath to remain calm. So H.Y.D.R.A had been interested in this man for some reason. That means he must have been important. But if he was that important then why kill him?

"As much as I hate to acknowledge it, I know H.Y.D.R.A best. They killed this man for one of two reasons; he knew something that he shouldn't, or they needed to fix a mistake. H.Y.D.R.A doesn't just kill for no reason. As sick as those bastards are, they are smart. It's how they remained in S.H.I.E.L.D undetected for so long. They don't just start killing because that draws attention. And this man couldn't be important, because we, they. They would have taken him and done terrible things to him" Bucky spoke, faltering only once when he referred to H.Y.D.R.A as we. Sam rest his hand on Bucky's metal arm, which meant so much more then just a comfort thing. It showed that Sam knew of his past, and yet didn't care. He was willing to touch the arm most people flinched from, especially when it was on display like this. And that's what Bucky needed. 

"Unfortunately James is correct. After we heard that H.Y.D.R.A was involved, we-"

"I. I did all the research" Shuri interrupted her brother who rolled his eyes at her. 

"-Did some research. To see if this was a one time thing, or if H.Y.D.R.A had taken out other people"

"How would you manage a search like that?" Steve asked, because like Bucky said H.Y.D.R.A was good at killing people. If they didn't want to be found, you wouldn't find them. You'd be dead before you realized someone was in the room with you. 

"We had a suspicion from the picture" T'Challa worded slowly and carefully, choosing his words. "None of these men that we are about to show have been confirmed to be killed by H.Y.D.R.A soldiers, but they were all American's killed in foreign countries from a gunshot wound to the head. Notice anything about these pictures?" four pictures popped up. At first glance you would think that these men looked nothing alike. Two had brown hair, one light red, and another blonde. But the closer Steve looked the more he saw. All the men had blue eyes. All had a short hairstyle. All of them had wide shoulders. All had white skin. All were in their twenty's. 

"Son of a bitch" Steve whispered as he realized.

They all resembled him. 

"They all look like you Captain Rogers. H.Y.D.R.A must know that you wouldn't have stuck around in the country you are wanted in, and that you most likely changed up your look" they wanted him. This wasn't a new thing, H.Y.D.R.A was always after him wanting the serum or to just torture him. And he always welcomed them to try, because Steve was just that much better. He remembered the elevator situation very vividly, it was one of his prouder moments. But that was all before Maria and James. Now, he had so much to loose. 

"Fuck" Bucky muttered, and really that's exactly how everyone felt. H.Y.D.R.A would never stop looking, it was only a matter of time before they realized where he was. And until they found him, more people would die. 

"What do we do?" Nat asked, for once not knowing how to handle a situation. When faced with a gun pointed at her head the black widow could think of at least ten different ways to get herself out of the situation alive. When her family was threatened however, she tended to freeze for a few moments before her brain went into overdrive. In a few minutes Steve was sure she would have a solution. 

"Nothing we can do. Keep taking out the bases we know of, but really that's it. There's too many H.Y.D.R.A members to ever get rid of them all" Bucky pointed out, and wasn't that the worst part of all of this. That no matter how many bases they took out, more kept popping up. It was like the greek mythology creature; kill one head, two more grow back. 

"Steve should stay here. He leaves and it's only a matter of time before they find him" Sam said as if Steve wasn't standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Steve is also right here" he raised his hand as if they couldn't see him. "What am I supposed to do, sit here quietly while guys who look like me get killed?" and everyone who knew Steve knew he wouldn't stay down. When he was smaller he never backed down from a fight, why was now any different, especially because he could actually hold his own now?

"You're supposed to sit here and be a father" Bucky told him, giving him that look he used to give when he knew Steve was thinking something stupid.

"That look has never worked before, and it's not going to work now. But I should make an appearance with you guys so that H.Y.D.R.A can figure out what I look like" and instantly everyone looked like they disagreed but he held up his hand, silencing them. "Men are dying because of me. At least if H.Y.D.R.A knows what I look like they'll stop grabbing random people and shooting them"

"Steve, this could all go wrong. You have kids to think about now" Nat told him, trying to get him to see reason. And he was thinking about them. When wasn't he thinking of them? He was thinking about Maria's smile when she saw him first thing in the morning, and how James's eyes lit up when the tv would turn on. But those people who were being killed simply because they looked like him, probably had families of their own that they would never see again. And Steve Rogers never stayed down, and he never let others fight his battles. This was the one reason he hated being a father; the amount of danger he put them in from being who he was, and also the fact that something could happen to him and they would grow up without a father. But he couldn't just let other kids loose their own fathers simply because he wanted to be selfish and stay with hidden. 

"When Tony and the others are all gone we'll head out. He's not leaving for a few days so that gives us time to set up a plan that doesn't involve my kids loosing a parent" Steve said using his Captain's voice, and without waiting for an answer turned and left the room. He could hear the whispers behind him but he kept going, wanting to get home to his babies now more than ever. He was right when he said everything was going to change, but he didn't imagine to this extent. Someone fell into step beside him and without having to look he knew it was Nat. 

"So he's staying for a few days?" she asked, and Steve was glad for the change in topic. 

"Ya, after our talk he said he would stay. Guess our talk was actually good" Steve smiled, despite what just happened two minutes ago. Tony never failed to put a smile on his face.

"What all did you talk about?" Nat continued to pry, and that was one of the reasons she was such a good spy. She could never not know things, and was always looking for answers. Kind of like a scientist, but scarier and more likely to use pain to get information. 

"I apologized for everything except the accords, we both cried a little, and he said he would stay" he also said he was scared of Steve, but that was something he wanted to push to the back of his mind and lock away. He could fix it, he could make Tony not scared of him anymore. He wasn't sure how yet, but he would figure it out. Nat stopped walking and grabbed his wrist to stop him as well. If he wanted to he could have kept going, but he never used his strength against his friends.

"Steve please tell me he apologized. Please don't tell me you sat there and took everything, apologized for your stuff, but didn't get an apology back" Steve cocked his head confused. What did Tony have to apologize for? Steve was the one who went against his husband, lied to him, and almost killed him in the base. Nat didn't make any sense. She sighed exasperated and led him over to a window sill they could sit in. The view always took Steve's breath away with the beauty of Wakanda, and his fingers itched to grab his sketchpad and draw it.

"Steve, did you have stuff to apologize for? Yes. But you aren't the only one who has too. I've seen you beat yourself up for two years over everything, so I know you genuinely feel sorry" she tried to explain but Steve shook his head at her.

"I didn't tell him about his parents, I could have killed him in Siberia, and I didn't tell him about his kids. All Tony did was react to everything I did"

"Bucky was a prisoner of war for almost a hundred years. He was tortured everyday and forced to do things he didn't want to do. Tony was in Afghanistan for three months, and still he has nightmares and PTSD to this day. I'm not trying to say that Bucky went through worse because everyone goes through things differently, but don't you think Tony should understand little bit better then most? The only reason he doesn't is because it's a personal matter. You were trying to protect Bucky. You lost him once, you didn't want to loose him again, and I understand that. If it was Clint, I'd do the exact same thing. And Tony would too if it was Rhodey. Why should you apologize for something you know Tony would do if it involved Rhodey?" Nat gently told him but still with a steel voice trying to get him to understand, but he didn't. 

"Would you side with Clint against Bruce?" and god Steve could smack himself in the face, because the look that washed over her face was awful. Nat didn't do heartbroken expressions, but this one was pretty close. She didn't say anything, just thought about it for a few seconds a wide range of emotions flickering across her face.

"If I truly believed in the side Clint was on, absolutely. Or if Clint ever asked me to have his back, as long as it didn't include taking over the world or seeing how many magnets we could stick to Barnes arm before he noticed, I would even if Bruce was on the other side. Because that's what best friends do for each other. Clint is my Bucky, and Bucky is Tony's Rhodey" the answer was zero by the way. Because as soon as Clint picked up the magnet, Bucky was on to him.

"But Nat, I almost killed him" he protested, because he would never forgive himself for that. Tony crying out in pain, the shield raised over his head, the anger in his veins. It was sickening, and Steve realized he was scared of himself. Nat cupped his cheek, and forced him to meet her eyes. If anyone were to walk by it would look like they were about to kiss. How off scale that guess would be.

"You said Tony took the first shot. Did he apologize for that?" Steve slowly shook his head, and she kept going. "Steve I've seen you break open a punching bag after one hit. And the bag was supposed to be indestructible" 

"So maybe my subconscious pulled my hits" Steve shrugged, because he was not a good guy in this situation. Why couldn't Nat see that? She groaned in frustration.

"Alright soldier, let's try it this was; what's the standard way to kill someone in battle?" Steve raised his eyebrows at her, not following but she looked at him with a stare that said answer the question. 

"The head or the heart" he answered without hesitation. It was basic military training, you go for the head or the heart straight on because it's a quick death. 

"Right. So don't you think that if you were really trying to kill Tony you would have gone for the head? If you brought you're shield down on his head it would have been over for him, but you didn't. You hit his reactor. And you know that he didn't need his reactor anymore, not after Malibu" there was another memory he wanted to forget. Extremis, Justin Hammer, reports of Tony dying, Pepper being kidnapped. Would they ever have a normal life? But then the last sentence of what she said kicked in. That was right, Tony didn't need the reactor anymore. It was no longer keeping him alive. Had he always known that he wouldn't actually kill Tony? So lost in his head he wasn't thinking straight anymore, and he doesn't think he has been for the past two years. He was so used to people targeting the reactor, that when he did it he put himself in the same category as them. Seeing the realization sweep across his face Nat knew she had gotten through to him. "You've been so caught up in your grief, you've failed to see the facts. If you wanted Tony dead you wouldn't have gone after the reactor. All you did was power it down so Bucky could get away"

"Does that really change anything though?" and he knew that her word wasn't the gospel, but if she said yes then he'd take it. She stood up, pat his arm, and left without answering leaving him to find his own answer. 

Steve hurried back to his house, needing to see his kids now even more than before his talk with Nat because no matter the situation they always calmed him down. But when he entered everything was not calm. Because Tony and Rhodey were sitting on one side of his living room, Wanda and Vision on the other, and the kids playing in the middle. Pepper and Happy must have left already, today being too much of an adventure for them to endure much else. He wasn't sure how long they had been here, but he was sure that as soon as they arrived the heated stares started. Tony was glaring at Wanda, Wanda's fingers had sparks of red shooting out randomly, Rhodey was watching the kids make a mess, and Vision was looking at Steve.

"Welcome back Captain Rogers" he greeted, getting the others attention. Maria squealed when she saw him, and without greeting anyone he walked over to both her and James and lifted them off the floor giving them a papa bear hug. He took a deep breath of their hair, the smell of fruit shampoo relaxing him.

"How was the meeting?" Wanda stood up and walked over to Steve, clearly sensing his distress. He shot her a smile that was very obviously forced and she frowned. 

"Tell you about it later" she continued to stare at him, before nodding and walking back over to Vision. 

"Aw, don't we get to hear the juicy gossip?" Tony whined, scowling when Rhodey hit him in the back of the head. "What? I like knowing things"

"Are you guys planning on sleeping here?" Steve asked the pair, glad to be changing the subject. Tony lost his playful pout when he registered Steve's question.

"Oh, I mean, I-we hadn't really thought about it. We could sleep in the palace if it was better, not that the palace is a better place, it's just-" and Steve should not have felt as much pride as he did over the fact he could make the always talking Tony Stark speechless.

"We would love too if you have the room" Rhodey answered instead of Tony, and Tony shot him a thankful smile over being saved. The way they acted together was exactly like how Steve and Bucky used to be, which brought what Nat said to him back into his mind. 

_"Why should you apologize for something you know Tony would do if it involved Rhodey?" _why hadn't Tony apologized for anything? Steve genuinely thought that Tony had nothing to apologize for. Steve was so used to being selfless, and taking the blame for someone else he hadn't realized that he was covering up the truth. And the truth was he wasn't the only one who should be sorry. Why wasn't Tony also apologizing?

"Steve?" Wanda snapped him out his head by gently placing a hand on his shoulder, frowning when he flinched under her touch.

"Sorry, sorry got lost in my head for a few seconds. Sure, we have plenty of room. The others will also be staying here because they live here as well. But if that's going to be a problem I suggest staying in the palace" ignoring everyone's looks of worry, seriously could everyone stop looking at him like that it's been a day and those are the only looks he's bee receiving, he put Maria and James on the floor. James was instantly drawn back to his building blocks, and Maria crawled over to Wanda who sat down on the floor to play with her. 

"That won't be a problem. Right Tones?" Rhodey asked, elbowing Tony in the ribs when he didn't answer fast enough. Tony was starring at Wanda and Maria with a curious look on his face, and Steve was tempted to step into his gaze to get him to stop. It was almost like he was actually seeing Wanda as a kid, and not a weapon of mass destruction. 

"Huh? Oh no, not a problem. So this is the Wakandan version of the Avengers mansion?" he tried to joke but it was weak and fell through. All it did was make Steve and Wanda remember their old lives. Sensing his mistake Tony kept talking. "So what's for dinner? I'm hoping something greasy and fattening" he clapped his hands together, and glanced his eyes up at the ceiling for a brief moment before remembering F.R.I.D.A.Y wasn't here and lowering them again. He must have been caught up in the past as well. The team all eating dinner together, making jokes, and actually behaving as a family. Back when Nat had red hair and Steve didn't have a beard. 

"I was thinking about barbecuing. I think I have some hamburgers and hot dogs still" Steve used that as an excuse to go to the kitchen, and get away from everyone, but of course Tony followed hot on his heels. 

"Steve?" he finally spoke, whispering to try and give them some privacy which was hard considering everyone could still see each other thanks to the giant window in the wall.

"Ya Tony?" he didn't look at him, pulling out the food from the freezer. He couldn't explain his annoyance right now, but it was there. Was he annoyed at the fact that Tony was here, so close to him and he couldn't kiss him? Or that they wouldn't be alone with their kids tonight? Maybe because Tony hadn't apologized when he honestly should? H.Y.D.R.A looking for him which could endanger everyone around him, as well as innocent civilians? Steve was going to take a lucky guess and say it was all of the above.

"You sure you're ok?" with us staying here, after your talk with King kitty, in general? They were all unasked, but Steve knew what he meant. And Steve so desperately wanted to tell Tony everything from the chat with the king to the chat with the black widow. They were supposed to be doing an honesty thing, to try and gain each others trust back. No more secrets, it was the unsaid agreement. He met Tony's eyes as he answered.

"I'm fine" what was one more secret going to do to their already failed relationship? 


	12. Family Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I just started my first year at college so chapters may be slower. I'll try and upload once a week

Shortly after Steve started to barbecue the dinner the others all showed up. The atmosphere grew more tense, especially when Tony and Rhodey realized they were outnumbered. It made Steve wonder if they had the suits hidden away somewhere, waiting to be called upon at. moments notice. At the dinner table Steve sat at the head, James to his left and Maria to his right in their highchairs. Bucky and Sam sat on the 'boys' side as it had been dubbed, while Nat and Wanda on the girls. With the addition of the new three the table fit the amount of people it was supposed to; Vision sat beside Wanda, Rhodey beside Sam, and Tony at the end facing Steve. Steve wondered briefly if they were back at the tower if this was how everyone would sit. They would have to get another table extension to fit Clint, Bruce, and Thor. 

"I hope I made something everyone likes. We have other things in the kitchen if you want something else" Steve told everyone, already cutting up the grilled cheese he had made separately for the kids. He read that children under three shouldn't have hotdogs because they are slippery and can get caught in their throats. He wasn't sure if that was true, but he was kind of a helicopter parent he discovered, and he wasn't going to chance anything. 

"No, this all looks good Steve" Nat smiled reaching for a hamburger to put on her plate. Sam grabbed a hot dog and a hamburger while Bucky grabbed two hamburgers and three hotdogs. Thankfully Steve knew to create lots, or all the food would go directly into Bucky and his stomach's.

"Seriously Barnes, were you raised in a barn?" Sam said in a voice most would think was gruff but everyone who knew Sam knew he was only joking. Bucky looked up innocently from where he was practically inhaling his second hotdog, the first one have disappeared before he put his plate back down. 

"Hey, when you grow up during the depression and have some form of super soldier serum coursing through your veins you eat a lot" Bucky teased back, again his voice not sounding teasing unless you knew him. Wanda used her powers to levitate some food to hers and Visions plates, something she usually did but the smirk on her face told Steve she was purposely making a big deal out of it tonight. She wanted to annoy Tony that she was able to use her gifts, and it was working. Tony glared at the sparks of red that drifted out of Wanda's hands. Honestly it was like Wanda was the rebellious kid. The more you tried to get her to stop doing something, the more she would do it.

"When I'm finished eating I can watch over the kids, allow you to actually eat something while it’s hot" Nat told him, and he quirked an eyebrow. Usually it went unsaid that that's what they were going to do. She curled her lips upwards, and that's when he realized what she was doing. She was trying to bait Tony, and as always it worked.

"I can do it. When I'm done eating" he said seriously from where he was sitting, and Nat leaned back in her chair satisfied. 

“Sure, you can do it” he smiled at Tony, who smiled almost shyly back which was unusual because Tony Stark did not do shy. It was adorable to see though.

The table grew quiet again so Steve busied himself with feeding the twins. They were good at eating solid food with their hands, but they both liked to jam the food in their mouths instead of taking bites, especially if it was one of their favourites which grilled cheese was. If Steve really wanted to he could probably focus on his own food, but he didn’t want to chance it. Especially because he was witnessing James about to shove the entire square in his mouth.

”No James” he sighed pulling the grilled cheese away from his mouth. He looked at Steve betrayed, blue eyes already starting to water and lip trembling so Steve hurried to give the food back to him after he ripped the grilled cheese with his fingers into an even smaller piece. 

“Here you go buddy. Take slow bites” he spoke as if James could understand him, but James was to pleased to have the grilled cheese back to care about anything else. Looking over at Maria he laughed as he saw the ketchup smeared around her mouth. 

“Great Barnes, you’ve taught Maria to eat like yourself” Sam playfully sighed seeing a resemblance between Maria’s ketchup covered face, and Bucky’s mustard and ketchup lips.

"Kids got good taste if she's copying me" Sam had a retort back but he found himself in a trance like state as Bucky spoke, eyes drawn to his lips wanting to lick the sauces off himself. 

It was getting ridiculous, the feelings he was getting for Barnes. He disliked the man a lot in the beginning, and liked to rub it in his face when Steve would go to him instead of his supposed best friend. Bucky was mean, cold, and couldn't take or make a joke. He used to be anyways. Then he started to change for the better, back into what Steve called the Bucky from the old days. Bucky was still mean, and cold, and couldn't always make or take a joke but it was different. He was actually trying to be better. Unfortunately the torture he endured was too much to just be cured in a short period of time, but he was making progress. Sam's not sure when the line between disliked and liked seem to overlap but he found that he wasn’t as annoyed by things Bucky did that always use to annoy him. 

And he didn’t want to get his hopes up but it seemed like Bucky might actually like him to. He talked with him, they had inside jokes, they’d watch tv late at night when one of them couldn’t sleep. These things may seem insignificant or minor, but with who Bucky was and all he’s been through it was actually pretty major. 

All Sam had to do was grow a pair and actually talk to Bucky about how he was feeling and maybe they could-

“Sam?” It was Steve who snapped Sam out of his thoughts. He realized in embarrassment that he was still starring at Bucky’s lips, and had even leaned in a little bit. 

“Ya Cap?” Sam turned to face Steve, trying to pretend that that hadn’t just happened especially in front of his friends.

”You good? You look a little flushed” the question seemed innocent enough, Steve even did the puppy dog head tilt and wide eyed expression but he couldn’t stop the way his lips slightly curled upwards. Whoever said Steve was a nice man who would never dare tease someone had clearly never met him. 

“Ya I’m good” Sam lowered his gaze to his plate, picking up his hotdog to give him something to do. He could feel everyone’s gaze still on him, but it was Bucky’s that was the most intense. He was saved from the situation when Maria threw her ketchup covered grilled cheese across the table, drawing everyone's attention.

"Maria" Steve sighed, grabbing the sandwich from the plate of burgers it had landed on. 

"I told you, she has the Stark smirk" Steve told Tony when he saw Maria's face. It amazed him how much sass and deviousness a one year old could put into a look, but their daughter had mastered it. He glanced over at Tony who was smiling at her, looking completely in love. It was obvious that James would pursue the same interests as Tony, maybe even have his brain, but it was Maria who would have the Stark personality. They should really warn people that instead of one Stark there would be two. Steve wasn't sure if the world could handle two together, and if they ever all lived together again the amount of sass, back talking, and inappropriate jokes would be through the roof. After all, no one snarks like a Stark. 

"The world is not ready for more than one Stark" Rhodey voiced what Steve was thinking, and Tony mock glared at him.

"Please sugar bear, you know you love me. It's in our best friends contract that you have to" Tony said winking at him and Rhodey shook his head. 

"Love's a strong word"

"Yet you don't deny there being a best friend contract?" Nat asked arching a brow joining in on their teasing. 

"Get enough alcohol in this guy and he'll do anything you say" Tony clapped Rhodey on the shoulder who shrugged him off.

"Don't touch me with your dirty hands"

"But honey bun"

"No Tony"

"You're breaking my heart sweetiepie"

"You have one of those?"

"Doesn't every human have a heart?" Vision asked in confusion, looking around like how Steve usually does, waiting for someone to explain.

"Yes Vis, it is just a joke" Wanda told him. Maria clapped her hands together at the adults antics, and Steve cooed at her. 

"I know, your daddy and godfather are silly" he laughed with her and looked back up when it got quiet very fast. Everyone was starring at him, Rhodey and Tony looking at him shocked. Replaying his sentence in his head, he realized his mistake. 

"Sorry, it just slipped out" 

"Godfather?" Rhodey choked out, looking like he had just been electrocuted with how wide his eyes were and the way his mouth dangled open.

"I mean, I figured Tony would make you godfather over one of them. I just chose for it to be Maria" Steve shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, when in reality he was freaking out. He wasn't even sure that he wanted the godfather/mother thing to ever be brought up. He named Nat as Maria's godmother and Sam as James godfather, Bucky being an honorary one, and when he couldn't pick two more he realized he couldn't because Tony was supposed to. So, he let it be and never gave Maria a godfather and James a godmother. And it wasn't ever supposed to get out, until his big dumb mouth ruined that.

"But I thought" Tony said glancing at Nat, Wanda, Sam, and Bucky when he couldn't get more words out. Steve had considered making the four the godparents, but it wasn't right. 

"It was always what we talked about. I pick one, you pick one. Didn't seem right to change that. Nat's Maria's godmother, and Sam is James godfather. I figured you would name Rhodey and Pepper as the other two" he really didn't want to stare at Tony the entire time he spoke, but he found that he couldn't look away. The way his eyes grew slightly damp as Steve spoke was captivating. 

"But what about Wanda and Barnes?" Rhodey blurt out, still in shock. Being in the military, then being a superhero, then becoming paralyzed made it seem like Rhodey was never supposed to have kids in his life. Certainly not his own anyways.

"Wanda is more like a sister to them, and Bucky is-" Steve trailed off looking at Bucky. He took the news surprisingly well when Steve told him he was naming Sam as godfather, but it still must have stung knowing you weren't going to be your best friends children's god parents. As much as Steve defended Bucky, hell that was part of the reason they weren't in America anymore, he knew it was safer to have the kids with Sam. Even though Shuri had been looking at his brain for over a year, they weren't sure if the programming was completely wiped and Steve would never risk his kids life, no matter how much he loved Bucky. Also, Steve and Bucky were easy to spot if the government ever found them. Sam on the other hand could disappear easier. 

"Bucky is bound to get with Sam before easter, so it wouldn't make sense to name both Sam and Bucky as godparents" Nat jumped in, coming up with a better excuse than Steve could have. Poor Maria. With a Stark as a parent and a deadly spy who also liked to put people in awkward situations, the girl was bound to be snarky as hell. Scratch that. Not poor Maria. Poor world. 

"Really?" Bucky glared at Nat who stared right back.

"You don't scare me Barnes"

"Can we get back to the godfather thing" Rhodey jumped in grabbing everyone's attention. 

"I mean, you can say no" but Steve really hoped he didn't. He wasn't only trying to repair his relationship with Tony, but also those he had grown close too because of his ex husband. 

"No, Steve really I'm honoured. It was just a shock" Rhodey grinned looking at Maria. He groaned after a second though and Tony turned to him worried. 

"What is it? What happened?"

"Of course you leave me in charge of the Satan child. You couldn't leave me with the good one" everyone laughed at the table, and it gave Steve hope that in the end this could work out for the better. Meeting Tony's eyes again he mouthed the word _'tonight' _and Tony nodded without hesitation. They still had a lot to talk about, and Steve was determined to get an apology from him, but he would enjoy this moment. 

It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the WinterFalcon


	13. Roller Coaster of a Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Sorry this took so long, I lost my inspiration for a while, but I've found it again and I am ready to keep going with this story. And thank you to everyone who commented and urged me to keep going.

"I'm going to put the kids to bed. You want to join Tony?" Steve asked. It was pointless to ask, because Steve knew Tony wanted too, but he wouldn't do it without Steve making the first move. After dinner they had all moved to the living room to watch some tv for a bit. It was nearing nine and way past the twins bedtime but all the sugar they had consumed had kept them awake. Finally they had passed out on the floor cuddled up to one another.

"Sure, I'd like that" Tony stood from where he was sitting with Rhodey and waited for instructions. 

"Grab James" Steve scooped up Maria and balanced her on his hip. "I'm probably going to call it a night as well, so good night everyone" he smiled at the people in the room, who offered him a 'good night' back, but did not glance up from the tv where The Godfather was playing. It was one of the first movies Tony had made Steve watch, apparently it was a cinematic masterpiece.

Leading the way he led Tony down the hall and into the twins bedroom. 

"Sweet room" he commented as he got to see it for the first time. 

"You can make jokes about it. I know, it looks like a cotton candy monster threw up in here" Steve laughed, putting their daughter into her crib, Tony copying with their son. It felt nice, doing it like this. 

"That's what makes it so sweet" Tony joked, wincing as James woke up and gripped his finger before he could move his hand away. "Holy shit" he whispered, starring in awe at the scene. Steve looked over startled, before realizing what was happening. It seemed that all of his wishes and prayers that they would not have any of the serum in them had gone ignored. 

"I'd hoped this wouldn't happen" Steve sighed, walking over to 'save' Tony. He gently peeled James fingers away, and laid his hand down, the boy already passed out again. 

"So they have the serum?" Tony asked, the scientist in him coming out. Steve could tell he was itching to take down notes, maybe perform a few tests to see what all they were capable of. 

"I'm not sure, we've never performed any tests. This is the first I'm seeing of unusual strength. They have always had a bigger appetite than other children, but I had hoped it just had to do with a fast metabolism" what happens when the world finds out? What happens when his enemies find out that not only does Captain America and Iron Man have children, but they possess parts of the serum? And James is clearly going to be a genius just like his father, so he'll have the brains _and _the brawn. They could never capture him, but his kids had just turned a year old. They were easy targets, who had no fighting chance. If Steve messed up then...

"You alright?" Tony asked, sensing his concern. 

"No, I'm not. Since I got the serum people have been trying to capture me to either drain me of my blood or recreate the serum. I can defend myself. They can't" Steve wasn't sure what he would do if anything happened to his kids. Avengers never killed, they beat the enemy down until they couldn't move, and threw them in a cell where they would never be released. However, if anything happened to put his children in danger, he wouldn't hesitate to break the unsaid code. 

"Hey" Tony grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. His eyes were filled with determination, so brave and strong. "Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to happen to them. Only a fool would try and steal our babies. Not only would the two strongest superheroes, don't tell the others I said that they might hurt me, be out for their blood, but they'd have every other hero following right behind them. We may have all broken up and we don't agree on things, but if there is one thing I'm certain we could all agree on it's them" Steve had never felt more in love with the man then he did in this moment, when he was talking about protecting their kids. 

"I just, I don't know what to do, you know? Obviously I don't want to stay in Wakanda forever, or keep them hidden from the world, but I don't see any other choice. I want them to have a normal childhood, but I don't think that they can" Steve turned his attention back to his son, and stroked his cheek. Why did he ever think the kids would have a normal and happy life? 

"Why did I ever think I could do this?" he whispered defeated. Tony was quick to put a hand on his shoulder, bringing the attention back to him. 

"Hey, none of that. That's not the Cap I know. I get it, this isn't an ideal situation, but we are going to figure something out. I'm not going to turn my back and make you deal with this on your own. I may have just entered their life today, but I feel so protective over them. I can't and I won't abandon them. Or you" as much as Steve wanted to revel in this progress, the tingly sensation flowing through his veins at Tony's words, he couldn't let it continue without knowing.

"Do you feel sorry about anything that happened regarding the accords and other events that took place?" Tony looked at him confused for a second, before slowly taking his hand off Steve's shoulder. 

"You want me to apologize?" he said the words like they tasted funny in his mouth, like he couldn't wrap his head around what Steve was asking. 

"I don't want you to take full responsibility, or try and apologize and make me feel like I'm innocent in everything. I get it, I'm not. I've said my apologies and I mean them. However, I'm not the bad guy in this situation, because there isn't a bad guy. We fought for what we believed in, but I am asking you, do you feel sorry about anything?" as painful as this was, he understood this was necessary. He couldn't continue shouldering all the blame, he could never truly heal and move forward in life if he didn't get some form of Tony showing he regretted his actions. 

"Barnes killed my mother, you hid that from me. You took your shield and brought it down on my chest, you could have killed me. What am I supposed to feel sorry for?" Tony growled, his anger flaring, but he kept his voice low so not to disturb the twins or the company downstairs. 

"You don't have to apologize for what side you chose to fight on. I said that already. It's what makes us humans, and not mindless drones. We get to make decisions and fight for what we believe in. Am I sorry we ended up on different sides? Absolutely, I wished I could have been by your side. But I can't change who I am. And I'm sorry for not telling you about your mom. Even though I wasn't completely sure it was Bucky, I should have still told you about it. I thought I was protecting you. You thought she died from a car accident, I thought that would be better for you to believe then she had been murdered. It's what I would have wanted, but I should never have assumed it is what you wanted. It wasn't my decision to make. But I am asking you, do you feel sorry for anything?" he held his breath, waiting for Tony to answer, hoping his ex wasn't about to storm out the door and drag Rhodey out of here. He wouldn't stop him if that's what he did, but he wouldn't let him back in. 

"You left me in Siberia, freezing and in pain" Tony countered, but Steve could see some of the fight leaving him. Perhaps Tony was as tired as he was. 

"Which I apologized for. But you attacked me too, you would have killed Bucky if we hadn't fought back. Probably would have killed me in your rage to get to Bucky" Tony looked at him shocked. It was like the plug in a pool floaty. Once he pulled it, you could see the anger slowly leaving Tony. 

"You think I would have killed you?" Steve shrugged, not really knowing his answer. 

"_You_ thought _I'd_ kill you. You're a human being and you were angry. We've all felt that black out anger, when you can't focus. You can do a lot you don't mean in those situations. I know you wouldn't have meant it if you had killed me, just like I wouldn't have meant it if I had killed you, but with how angry you were, ya it wouldn't surprise me if you had" they sat in silence, neither knowing just what to say. He could see the wheels turning in Tony's head, like he was trying to work out if what Steve said made sense. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime Tony sighed. 

"I was angry. At the fact that Barnes had killed my mother, but also at the fact that my husband wasn't by my side. We fought wars together side by side, but when I really needed you by my side, you weren't there. Seeing you leave with Barnes, was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever watched. There I was laying on the floor, and there you went walking away" Tony stopped, like he was trying to find the words to say, and Steve wondered if he would apologize or not.

"I don't even want to think about if I would have killed you trying to get to Barnes. I do know how angry I was, and I wanted Barnes dead" it seemed like Tony had a point to his thoughts, but it was taking a while to get there. It was kind of like watching someone solve a math problem. Right now Tony was working out the equation, trying to find the answer. 

"Like you said, I'm not going to apologize for the accords. I stood on the side I felt was right. But I can say I am sorry for how everything turned out. I never wanted you to become criminals. I never wanted you to have to go to the raft, which I can tell you I am strongly against that part I saw how awful it was, and I am sorry you can't come home" it took Tony another moment, like he was arguing in his head over something, before he continued. 

"And I'm sorry for Siberia. Am I sorry for trying to kill Barnes? No, not in that moment. You have to understand just what I was feeling Steve. You know you'd react the same way if someone told you that they killed your mother. But now that the situation is over, that I can look at things clearly, I know I would have done what you did if it was Rhodey in Barnes position. If someone told you Rhodey had killed your mother while he was brainwashed, ya I'd take Rhodey's side. I've been tortured myself, I can understand a little bit about what happened with Barnes. So I am sorry for trying to kill Barnes. It wasn't him. However, you can't expect me to become all buddy buddy with him, because I won't. I get that it wasn't him, but when I look at him all I can picture is him standing over my mom. Same with Wanda. I get that she's a kid, but when I look at her all I can picture is her getting into my head and showing me my biggest fears. All I can picture is her showing me you dead" tears filled Steve's eyes at the honesty he was hearing. Tony wasn't saying things to appeal to Steve, he was being genuine. They still had a lot to work out, but this was good. 

"Let's just agree that we both could have handled things a lot different. Let's agree that no one was in the complete wrong or right" he smiled at Tony, and his ex didn't hesitate to return it. It looked like Tony wanted to say more, maybe lean in and hug Steve, but he refrained. And Steve was ok with that. Their problems couldn't be fixed in one day, but at least Steve could go to bed tonight knowing that when he woke up in the morning Tony would still be here, that he hadn't left in the middle of the night after realizing he couldn't deal with this. 

"Now, it's been a rollercoaster of a day for both of us. I say we get some sleep, I have a feeling these brats are up at the crack of dawn, like someone I know" Tony glared at him teasingly, Steve rolling his eyes in response.

"Seven am is not that early" Tony looked appalled at him.

"Not that early? Sometimes I don't even go to bed until then" Steve led him out of the room and to the room he could sleep in. 

"My room is just down the hall, last door on the left if you need anything. Rhodey will probably be in the room right across from yours" Steve opened the door, and moved aside so Tony could pass through. "You don't have to wake up with the kids, you should get your beauty sleep"

"Are you saying I need my beauty sleep?" Tony narrowed his eyes, and Steve shrugged.

"Well, you could definitely do with some improvement" they both chuckled, and Steve backed out of the room so Tony could shut the door. 

"Goodnight Tony" he gave Tony one last smiled for the night.

"Goodnight Steve" Tony shut the door, and the last thing he saw was Tony's own smile. 

They still had a lot to deal with; figuring out a way for Tony to be active in the kids lives, figuring out how much of the serums capabilities they would posses, and H.Y.D.R.A being on the lookout for Steve. But for the first time in a long time Steve would go to bed feeling completely happy. 


	14. Breakfast Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the wait. Thank you to everyone who messaged asking me to continue, you motivate me to keep going. Enjoy the chapter:)

At exactly seven am Steve woke up, the sun shining through his window and onto his face. Steve blinked and rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up. Despite the fact that Steve woke up early every morning, he didn’t jump out of bed straight away, wide awake and ready to do all his Captain duties. It still took him a few minutes to gather his thoughts. 

After getting out of bed, and going to the bathroom, Steve went to the kids room, knowing they would be awake. 

“Good morning sweethearts” Steve grinned, seeing both of his kids standing in their cribs. It was tricky dealing with both of them in the morning; both wanted his immediate attention, and he couldn’t change and dress both of them at the same time, meaning someone had to wait. And the thing about one year olds, is you can’t explain that to them. So, they usually end up crying. 

“I went to you first yesterday Maria, it’s James turn to be first” 

“Thankfully I’m awake” Steve looked over his shoulder to see Tony leaning against the doorframe, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face. It only resulted in it getting messy, and causing inappropriate thoughts to run through Steve’s mind. Feeling himself flush over picturing other reasons Tony’s hair sometimes looked like that, he turned away from the man and focused on their son. 

“Am I witnessing _ the _Tony Stark waking up without being told to?” Steve hid how happy he felt over Tony actually waking up to help, with sarcasm. 

“Don’t get used to this. These babies will not change me. I’m still going to sleep till noon everyday” but even as Tony said this, Steve, and probably Tony himself, knew it was a lie. The impact their kids were already having on him was noticeable. 

“Sure. Grab Maria, if she sees me grab James without grabbing her she’ll throw a fit” Steve bent down to pick up James, who’s whimpers had risen in volume. 

“Hello my handsome boy” Steve nuzzled into his neck, his beard tickling James, causing the boy to let out giggles. Maria whined when she saw the attention her daddy was giving her brother, not yet used to Tony also being her caretaker. 

“I’ll be right with you baby” Steve called over to her, setting James down on his change table to take care of his diaper. 

“Looks like your rash has gotten better” Steve told James happily, as if he could understand. The past few days James had been battling a harsh diaper rash, that had left the boy crying in pain when it first started. Thankfully, T’Challa had the best rash cream ever brought in just for James. And if he did have a part of Steve’s healing factor, that would help as well. 

“All done” Steve blew a raspberry onto his stomach. He could never get enough of the sound of his kids laughter. Picking James back up, he turned to face Maria and Tony. The little girl had calmed down as Tony started to rock her, but she was still staring at Steve intently, as if saying _ ‘my turn’ _. 

“Swap kids?” Steve asked approaching, Maria’s hands already outstretched, making grabbing motions. James, sensing what was about to happen, curled into Steve’s neck, not wanting to go. 

“Come on now James, be a good boy” Steve handed him to Tony, while taking Maria into his arms. Tony was being unusually quiet, seeming content to just observe. James started to whimper, but Tony started the rocking motion he had been doing earlier. 

“Hello my beautiful girl” Steve said to Maria after she was on the table. She cooed at him, reaching up with her hands to try and grab his beard. In retaliation he playfully bit at her fingers, making sure to use his lips and not his teeth. After her diaper change, he lifted her into his arms and cuddled her close, just like he had done with James. It was all a part of their morning traditions. 

“You’re really great with them” Tony told him, his voice soft as he spoke. 

“You should have seen me in the beginning. I was a mess” Steve laughed at some of the memories that surfaced. “I used to always dress them in the wrong clothes. Maria would be in overalls, and James in a bright pink dress. Or I would mix them up sometimes, like put James in the overalls but give him the jeweled flower headband, and Maria in the dress paired with a blue baby baseball cap” 

“I was going to defend the mixing up of the clothes, but Steve, how do you pair pink and blue items? How did you not realize?” Tony laughed, following Steve out of the room, who was leading them to the kitchen. 

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. Thank god for Wanda, she always caught the mistake before I could bring them to the palace” Steve put Maria into her high chair, Tony copying with James. 

“She uh, she really seems close to the kids” Tony said, keeping his gaze centered on James and not on Steve. 

“She took it hard in the beginning. When I told her I was having twins. She still thinks about Pietro a lot, misses him everyday. But, her connection to the twins is deeper than that. It’s the same reason Nat is so good with them. They never really had that growing up. That sense of comfort, of belonging, of home. I guess in a way Wanda is re-enacting what she wished her childhood would have been like, while ensuring the twins have it. Plus, she makes an awesome older sister to them” The kids would grow up viewing Wanda as their older sister. They may not be blood, but they were family. 

“He would have made an incredible avenger” Tony told him, standing up fully at the same time Steve did. 

“He _ was _ a great avenger. But, that’s enough of this kind of talk. It’s quarter after seven, we don’t need this kind of attitude in the morning. What do you want for breakfast? We have a lot of food, pick whatever you want and I’ll cook it. I think we have stuff for breakfast sandwiches. And I can start on the coffee, you’ll probably want the entire thing” Steve told him, grabbing a box of cheerios for the kids. They didn’t eat them with milk and a spoon, but they were happy enough to eat them from their trays, while occasionally throwing them at each other. 

It hadn’t occurred to him that he offered to make one of Tony’s favourite breakfast meals, but Tony did. He could only watch in awe as Steve went around the kitchen, grabbing everything he would need to make the food. Tony never used to be one for breakfast, truthfully he wasn’t one for eating in general, but when Steve introduced him to breakfast sandwiches he was hooked. It was like a cheeseburger, but for the morning! 

Even after all this time, Steve still knew everything he loved. 

“You ok? Did you want something else?” Steve asked, stopping when he saw the expression on Tony’s face. 

“No, breakfast sandwiches are perfect” Tony couldn’t help the love filled smile that crossed his face. _ This _was what he wanted his mornings to be like everyday. He would try and push the seven am morning thing back, but he would endure it if it meant this was what he woke up to. 

Steve’s ears turned red at the look Tony gave him, but he smiled back and continued with what he was doing. 

“What time does everyone else get up?”

“Nat, Bucky, and Sam are probably already up. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t even here. They normally leave to go jog on some of the paths. Wanda likes to sleep in, seriously don’t even attempt to wake her up, and Vision will probably stay in her room until she wakes” he had received a hair brush to the head the one time he had tried to drag her out of bed. It was 8:30, that was late enough. At least, that’s what Steve thought. 

“I bet Wanda doesn’t sleep in that late, you soldiers, spies, and assassins are just extremely early risers. Sleeping in for you guys is what, eight? That’s early for the rest of the world” Tony teased, smiling appreciatively as Tony put a cup of coffee in front of him. 

“I’ve learned my lesson. Wanda sleeps in for as long as she wants, unless it’s after noon. That’s just ridiculous” 

“Ok grandpa, we’ll all get up early and go bird watching with you. Maybe we’ll see something other than a cardinal or robin for once” Steve fixed him with his best bitch face, and Tony chuckled into his mug. The coffee was made perfectly, but was that really a surprise?

“Hilarious” he deadpanned, turning to the stove to make the eggs. 

“So, any plans for the day?” Tony asked, trying to sound casual, but really, he was hoping that if Steve did have plans, Tony would be included. 

“I don’t think so. Probably just hang out here for the day, read up on some things T’Challa sent me. Maybe, if you’re interested we could walk around Wakanda, and I could show you around? Rhodey could come to” Steve asked, not able to hide the hopefulness in his voice that Tony would say yes. 

“I’d love to” they grinned at each other, only looking away when Maria threw a cheerio at James, who copied her. 

“Brats” Steve smiled fondly, but left them to their devices. They were content, that’s all that mattered. 

“I don’t mean to pry, well actually I do, but do I get to know what this important meeting was about yesterday?” the mood in the room shifted as Steve was reminded of the meeting. He hadn’t given it much thought, to busy with Tony, but it was something he would have to get a handle on. 

“You really don’t have to concern yourself with it. You’re here enjoying your time away from meetings, you don’t need to get involved in this one” he brought Tony’s plate over to him, before turning back to start his own, but he was stopped by a hand on his wrist, forcing him back around. 

“Steve, if it’s something important I want to help” _ I don’t want the kids OR you in danger, _was left unsaid, but it was what Tony was thinking. Steve had seemed nervous when he met back up with Tony after the meeting, and Tony had assumed it was nerves due to talking to Tony. Maybe it was actually due to the meeting. Was Steve in trouble?

“Tony, it’s seven thirty, this is not breakfast talk” Steve sighed uselessly, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. When Tony gave him that concerned look he found himself caving. 

“Tell me. Please Steve, no more secrets” Tony begged. He wasn’t above fighting dirty, and using his puppy dog eyes to get what he wanted. 

“H.Y.D.R.A has started killing men that resemble me. They are trying to find me, and when they realize that they’ve gone after the wrong man they execute them” and really, it wasn’t anything new, H.Y.D.R.A was always looking for Steve, more importantly the serum, but it still caused fear and anger to swell inside Tony. 

“Are they close? Have they narrowed it down to this area?” Tony was already itching to start tracking H.Y.D.R.A agents and take them down. 

“They have it pieced together that I am not in America anymore. But I don’t think they are close to figuring out I’m in Wakanda, and even if they did, this is probably the safest place in the world to be” unless H.Y.D.R.A planned on storming Wakanda with undefeatable monsters, they weren’t going to get in. 

“So you’ll be safe here?” Tony knew instantly from the way that Steve looked away that he wouldn’t like what Steve was about to respond with.

“They are killing innocent men when they realize it isn’t me” Steve protested, and Tony’s grip tightened. 

“So you’re going to sacrifice yourself for these men? What about our kids, what if something happens to you?” _ What about me? _Tony’s voice started to rise, only controlling the volume when Maria whined in protest. 

“I _ am _thinking about our kids. It’s why I’m not going to do anything stupid”, reckless maybe, but Tony didn’t need to know that, “but five men have been killed simply because they look like me. I can’t let them die Tony, I just can’t. These men have families, friends, lovers, maybe even kids of their own. They’ll never go home to them again, all because of me” he had already been lectured over how stupid this could turn out to be, and he didn’t need another one. This was something he had to do, and yes, it sucks because he has people he needs to live for, but so did those men. At least he can defend themselves, they can’t. 

“And what happens if something goes wrong? What if you don’t come home?” and when Tony said home, he wasn’t referring to this place. He was referring to the tower, their actual home. The one filled with all of their memories, good and bad, that he wouldn’t trade for the world. If Steve was captured, or worse, what if he never came home? What if they never fixed themselves? No, Tony couldn’t let that happen.

“Tony, I’ve been dealing with H.Y.D.R.A since I was first given the serum. I can handle myself. Besides, if something goes wrong, I know I’ve got someone who won’t stop looking for me” he smiled, gently prying his wrist from Tony’s grip so that he could continue making breakfast.

“Damn straight”

“Language” Steve responded, voice quiet but teasing. Tony fondly rolled his eyes at the memory, but his gaze turned sharp shortly after. 

“So what is your plan?” more importantly, when did he need to be available. If he couldn’t stop Steve, then Steve couldn’t stop him from joining. 

“I was planning on waiting until after you had left to put a plan into motion. I was thinking I would try and go somewhere H.Y.D.R.A would most likely be, maybe Germany, or near Sokovia. They have bases along the Alps. The plan so far is that I’ll get spotted by them, I’ll make sure they confirm it’s me, and then I’ll get out. They’ll know what I look like, and they can stop killing innocent men” 

“It’s risky. If you catch them off guard you have the upper hand. But, you don’t know what every H.Y.D.R.A agent looks like, and every H.Y.D.R.A agent knows what you look like. Most likely they’ll attack first, giving them the upper hand” Tony didn’t like it. This plan was to risky, to many mistakes could happen. And H.Y.D.R.A would capitalize on any mistake they could. Give them an opening, they take the shot. 

“It’s the only plan. I can’t exactly post photos of me, the last thing I need is Ross figuring out where I am and what I look like, and sending his minions after me. Besides, I won’t be alone. I’ll have Nat, Bucky, and Sam”

“And me” Tony said seriously, but Steve shook his head. 

“Absolutely not” 

“Excuse me? You may be the Captain, but when have I ever listened to your orders?” who the hell did Steve think he was, to tell Tony he couldn’t be there when the man he loved most in the world was going to be in danger?

“Tony, you’re a distraction, and I can’t have you there” as soon as the words left his mouth, Steve knew he should have worded them differently. The way he said it made him sound like an asshole, like Tony was a liability. 

“I’m a distraction? What the hell does that even mean? I’m so bad at following orders that you have to babysit me to keep me in line?” Tony hissed, standing and storming over to him. 

“No, that’s not-” Steve tried to explain, but Tony kept going. 

“I get I’m not a supersoldier, or a spy, or an assassin, but I’m not a liability! Is that what you think, that I’m so weak you’ll be distracted trying to keep me safe? Or are you going to be so busy looking over your shoulder, making sure _ I’m _not about to shoot you, or to make sure I haven’t called Ross’s men in? Because you still don’t trust me? Is that why you were going to hide this? Because if that is what you think of me, then let me tell you-”

“NO!” Steve yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter and watched in horror as it cracked. Not enough for it to fall apart, but the entire counter top now looked like a spider web, lines going in every direction. 

“Damn it” Steve hissed, rubbing a hand over his face. He could hear Maria and James crying, not expecting the loud and scary noise, and Steve wanted to beat himself up. He was just messing everything up this morning. He walked over to them to try and calm them down, but they flinched away from him, and Steve felt his heart break. 

His kids were scared of him. 

“What the hell is going on out here?” Rhodey exclaimed, walking into the kitchen to see the twins crying, Steve looking ready to cry, Tony starring in shock, the counter broken, and the frying pan starting to release black smoke as whatever was cooking was starting to burn. 

“Can you” Steve waved his hand at the twins, knowing it should be him comforting his kids, but he couldn’t. Not when they were scared of him. Before Rhodey could answer Steve was already leaving the kitchen, heading to his bedroom. 

“I heard a bang and a shout, is everything ok?” Wanda met him in the hallway followed by Vision, looking very intimidating with her fingers sparking red and her matching pj’s that were covered in hearts, paired with her bed head. 

“Go help Rhodey” Steve walked past, finally reaching his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Was he over reacting? Maybe, but he was tired and stressed, and he exploded. Everyone was allowed to explode, right?

_ ‘Not with their kids right there. Great parenting Rogers. Now your kids are scared of you’ _his mind told him, and he sighed. His mind supplied him with his own childhood abuse. Hiding in closets and under the bed when his father came home drunk. It was all pointless, his father always knew where he was. And, if he was caught hiding the beating was worse. The first sign that his father wasn't ok was he started coming home angrier. Was this a sign that-

A faint knock on the door took him out of his head, and he was tempted to ignore it, but when he heard Tony’s quiet ‘can I come in?’ he knew he couldn’t. 

“It’s open” he called, voice a little shaky as he tried to calm himself down. Tony walked in, and immediately sat down on the bed beside him, not bothering to tiptoe around him. 

“They flinched” Steve whispered when Tony didn’t speak. They had never flinched from him before. 

“You made a loud noise, and they got scared. They got scared of the situation, they aren’t scared of you” Tony tried to assure him, but he shook his head sadly. Tony grabbed Steve’s shoulder and forced him to look at him. 

“Steve, they aren’t scared of you. They aren’t even going to remember this when they grow up. I promise” 

“But what if I lose my temper when they are older? What if-”

“Don’t. Don’t even finish that sentence. You are nothing like either of our fathers, and you never will be” Steve stared into Tony’s eyes, and slowly found himself nodding. If Tony said so, then it must be so.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way you know” Steve told him quietly.

“I know. I’m sorry I blew up like that. I know, well I hope, that you trust me” 

“I do” Steve told him, and Tony must have believed him because he smiled softly. 

“So what did you mean by the distraction comment?” Steve ran a hand through his hair, as he thought about how to answer, before saying _ fuck it, _and deciding to just go for it. 

“If you’re with me when we fight H.Y.D.R.A I won’t be focusing on my fight. I’m going to be watching you, I’m going to be making sure that they don’t even get five feet from you. I could jeopardize the entire mission because I won’t be able to concentrate. Because if anything happens to you, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t lose you Tony. Not again. Not permanently” what was he supposed to do if H.Y.D.R.A got to Tony? He couldn’t protect his best friend from H.Y.D.R.A, and it still hurts him to know that he failed Bucky. He can’t lose Tony, not Tony. It will destroy him. 

“Well guess what Steve? I can’t lose you either. I’m just getting you back” Tony stroked his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “So if you’re fighting, I’m fighting. And I don’t give a damn if Ross sees Iron Man fighting alongside you, we can cross that bridge when it happens” and the way Tony said it, so determined, told Steve it would probably be easier to convince Bucky to cut his hair then it would be to stop Tony. 

“Ok” Steve finally agreed, not wanting to fight any longer. 

“So” Tony started when the silence had continued for a few minutes. “You still want to give me a tour of Wakanda?” And Steve smiled and found himself nodding his head. 

“Let’s go find a bird other than a robin or a cardinal” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise they will get back together soon


End file.
